Questions

Math teacher: Why is there a baby in the classroom?

Chino, California

Mother to daughter: Come on!
(daughter rolls eyes and follows)
Random man to young girl: Is that your mother? You should be thrilled! Mine's dead!

Marin County, California

Smoking man in expensive suit to smoking woman in expensive dress: And then, either way, you're a zombie. Right?

Toronto
Canadia

Boy, holding bodice-ripper romance novel: Dad, is this a book for fifth-graders?
Distracted father: No. Put it back.
Boy: What is it?
Distracted father: Hardcore pornography. Put it back.

Fairwood, Washington

Overheard by: he was so hopeful

Kindergarten teacher: Hey, what are you doing?
Little girl: Nothing, but I can repair it if you want me to!

Kindergarten
Norway

Guy on cell: Yeah, so I was seeing this girl, and she called me and said, “so I think I might be pregnant,” and I said “oh shit, really?” and then she just said, “yeah, but if I am I'll just put that fucker up for adoption.”

Escondido, California

Suburbanite man #1, waving: Hey, John!
Suburbanite man #2, excitedly shaking guy’s hand: Hey! How’s your concrete?!

Cedarburg Strawberry Festival
Cedarburg, Wisconsin

Guy: I just want to know how big his nipples are!

Revolution Cafe
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: crafty biotech

Woman getting into her car to guy in SUV: Wait, did I leave my underwear in your car?

Washington Township, New Jersey

Overheard by: Russ

Bimbette #1: This is in good shape considering it was under six feet of water.
Bimbette #2: It’s not still underwater, is it?

New Orleans, Louisiana