(two lesbians taking items out of the shopping cart to place in their truck)
Butch lesbian (picking up a heavy box): Why do I always have to carry the heavy things just because I wear the dildo?
Wal-Mart
Dublin, Ohio
Overheard by: Octopus seeks sucker fish for good times and long walks
Student #1: There are an infinite number of answers?!
AP calc teacher: Yeah, there are.
Student #2: Do you want us to write them all down?
High School
Boiceville, New York
Overheard by: Toasted
Girl #1: So what do you think of her boyfriend?
Girl #2: I can see his underwear through his pants.
Tapas Teatro
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Underwear Moderator
Economics professor, suddenly, in a creepy voice: Noooo you may not! Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills! [Continuing in normal voice.] No? Anybody? No? Shame on you all! Just wait a few more years and you’ll get what I’m talking about and you will be so pleased.
Tufts University
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Adrian
Math teacher: Why is there a baby in the classroom?
Chino, California
Mother to daughter: Come on!
(daughter rolls eyes and follows)
Random man to young girl: Is that your mother? You should be thrilled! Mine's dead!
Marin County, California
Smoking man in expensive suit to smoking woman in expensive dress: And then, either way, you're a zombie. Right?
Toronto
Canadia
Boy, holding bodice-ripper romance novel: Dad, is this a book for fifth-graders?
Distracted father: No. Put it back.
Boy: What is it?
Distracted father: Hardcore pornography. Put it back.
Fairwood, Washington
Overheard by: he was so hopeful
Kindergarten teacher: Hey, what are you doing?
Little girl: Nothing, but I can repair it if you want me to!
Kindergarten
Norway
Guy on cell: Yeah, so I was seeing this girl, and she called me and said, “so I think I might be pregnant,” and I said “oh shit, really?” and then she just said, “yeah, but if I am I'll just put that fucker up for adoption.”
Escondido, California
