Very drunk 20-something guy: Honestly, I get a pulse in my dick when I talk to you. I'm going to fuck you tonight.
Rough-looking chain smoking 50-something woman: Oh yeah?
Very drunk 20-something guy: I'm so hard right now… Have a feel.
Rough-looking chain smoking 50-something woman, grabbing hold of his crotch: You're totally flaccid.
(very drunk 20-something bursts into hysterical laughter)
Nightclub
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Nonchalant tween: My farts smell like I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!®
Moscow, Idaho
Overheard by: saturday morning
Professor: Fluorine is to chlorine as chlorine is to Kool-Aid. If you inhale chlorine, it burns your nose–you inhale fluorine and it'll eat your face and look for your family.
San Diego State University
San Diego, California
Teenage boy to friend: Oh, damn, my skin's turning purple again!
Friend: Your skin's turning purple again?
Teenage boy: Yeah!
Friend: Oh, damn!
Charleston, South Carolina
First grade teacher to colleague, in front of first graders: And so I walked into the living room and he was there, naked, standing on the coffee table.
Portland, Maine
Guy to another: Why's he bother to wash his clothes, anyway, if he smells that bad and doesn't bother to bathe?
Laundromat
Catskill, New York
Overheard by: Amie
Little boy: Ewww… what's that smell?
Slightly tipsy dad: Prolly barf.
Little boy: Yuck! You're gross!
Slightly tipsy dad: What? It's a twins game. People come to get drunk, then they barf, and you smell it. That's how it goes.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/270078695/so-come-on-down-to-the-metrodome.html
Overheard by: that's not why I go to twins games.
Kid: Woah, you just blew my mind!
Teacher: That's not all I'll blow.
High School
Pennsylvania
[Two 18-year-old girls are browsing a table full of random items for sale at a Christian thrift store at a local church.]Girl #1: This candle holder would probably feel great inside my pussy.
Girl #2, barely startled: Haha. Yeah.
Girl #1: Ooh, this shirt is nice!
Gothenburg
Sweden
Overheard by: Donny Boots
Drunken teenage girl, dancing down the street: I taste like fucking condoms!
Toronto, Canadia
