Boyfriend to gas station attendant: She slept with the entire football team in high school.
Girlfriend: Maybe, but I still wouldn’t have slept with you.
Boyfriend: Yeah? Really? How’s your butt feel? Ha! I haven’t even told my friends about that yet!
Richmond, Virginia
Angry guy, loudly: My sister is not a fetish model!
Greenport Harbor Brewery
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Ladle
Suit on cell: I don’t know much about this party he’s throwing, other than he got me a pregnant stripper.
Del Monte Shopping Center
Monterey, California
Overheard by: Amy
Nine-year-old girl, planning game: So he’ll be the priest, and you can be the wet nurse.
Mount Vernon, New York
Little girl in stall: No boys allowed in here!
Little boy in the next stall: Well, my name's Simon!
Girls' Bathroom, Clemyjontri Park
McLean, Virginia
Overheard by: Ellen
Sorority girl to lit class: So she was all saying that I was totally against feminism if I insisted on shaving my legs. And I said she was totally against feminism if she insisted on being a whore!
University of Nebraska
Lincoln, Nebraska
Frustrated neighbor: It’s only gay if we do it outside a vagina!
Derby, Connecticut
Overheard by: Jess
Teen girl: Have you noticed that he's getting gayer by the minute? I swear he's getting gayer and gayer–and his eyebrows are getting smaller and smaller.
Teen guy: Ah, yes. The all too telling gay-to-eyebrow ratio…
Olympia, Washington
Overheard by: ninita
