New dad: Look! These clothes are cute. Oh, look at this dress!
New mum: You have a boy, not a girl!
Department Store
Melbourne
Australia
Girl #1: You know, it's kind of depressing. I'm not into anything weird–sexually.
Girl #2: Yeah?
Girl #1: Yeah. Like, the weirdest thing I'm into is having guys dress up in white wigs and let me call them mozart.
Girl #2 (seriously): That's not weird at all.
Monterey, California
Artsy emo: It was like lesbian Fight Club! First Leema liked Holly, then she liked Tracy, who liked Nicola, who also liked Holly. So Nicola and Leema got in a fist fight and in the end, Tracy and Holly had sex in the woodshop classroom!
Toronto
Canadia
Guy on computer: Fuck, I always forget my student e-mail password.
Girl: Why?
Guy: I've always used the same password for everything for years but when I tried it on blackboard it was all “oh, you can't have 'gay' in your password.”
Library
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Who uses
Young woman to another: Oh, you could pull that off, but *I* would like a pedophile.
Passer-by to friend: I don't think that means what she thinks it means… We can only hope.
Phildelphia, Pennsylvania
Soccer mom: I can't believe I was able to convince my husband that I was gay.
Museum of Fine Arts
Boston, Massachusetts
Girl: So this girl was like: “I want half your pants!”
Hazelwood West High School
Florissant, Missouri
Overheard by: Melissa
Dude: Just because I watched you out a window for an hour doesn’t mean I’m creepy.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Girl one: Smell my face. Smell right here. Doesn’t it smell great? The stripper I got a lap dance from was wearing great perfume.
Girl two: It smells like pickles.
Toby Keith’s Restaurant
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: At least it doesn’t smell like tuna
Skinny guy: He's coming to the party tonight? Wasn't he hitting on your girlfriend last time?
Big burly bearded guy: No, she texted me last night. She talked to his roommate: turns out he wasn't inviting her to a threesome 'cause he likes her. He was inviting us to a foursome 'cause he likes me.
Ontario
Canadia
