Girl, surprised: A naked man??
Guy, after introspective pause: No…I prefer them in tights.
St. Paul, Minnesota
Girl, surprised: A naked man??
Guy, after introspective pause: No…I prefer them in tights.
St. Paul, Minnesota
Blonde on cell: So I called her up and asked her why she was so mad at me, and she was like, ‘You called me, like, five hundred times when I was with Alan, and I think you’re a creepy stalker. And I talked about it with him and he thinks you’re a stalker, too.’ And I was like, ‘You really think I’m some sort of lesbian stalker?! Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed!’
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: rv
Broseph to broski: Shaving your ass is a sign of homosexuality, shaving your testicles is a sign of being a porn star.
Chicago, Illinois
Mom to girls at bar: You two are so cute. [To daughter’s friend] So, do you swing both ways?
Friend: Uhhh…
Daughter: Just ignore my mother. She’s really drunk and thinks I need a date.
Mom: I’m just trying. Do you think I don’t care about you?
Louisville, Kentucky
Gay dude: No, they're just too greasy for me.
Fag hag: Says the Mexican…
Gay dude: Excuse me? I'm black by insertion.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: i don't like water
[Three intoxicated college girls are walking along the street. One trips, falls, and all three laugh hysterically. An unmarked police van passes by]Cop, yelling out of the window: Looks like three underage drinking tickets right there!
Girl #1: We’re all 21!
Cop: Well, it looks like you’re 4!
Girl #2: Looks like you’re 37 and looking for a boyfriend!
Madison, Wisconsin
College girl #1: I washed this shirt and it got, like, bigger!
College girl #2: Well, at least you can wear it with tights now.
College girl #1: I know, but I don't want to look like a slut.
College girl #2: I feel like I look less slutty when I wear my sunglasses.
Boulder, Colorado
Girl #1: Isn't there a saying about ripping off a band-aid?
Girl #2: Yes, but I don't think that applies to sex.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Vidarella
Girl: You know, Santa and Superman would make an adorable gay couple.
Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee
(two lesbians taking items out of the shopping cart to place in their truck)
Butch lesbian (picking up a heavy box): Why do I always have to carry the heavy things just because I wear the dildo?
Wal-Mart
Dublin, Ohio
Overheard by: Octopus seeks sucker fish for good times and long walks
