From George Washington: The E! True Hollywood Story

Suit #1, very seriously: And she was totally fixated on Martha. So I said to Martha, who swings both ways, you know, I said: “this girl is in serious need of some fanny,” but the trouble is, she's found god.
Suit #2: The worst coitus interruptus in the world! That Martha's a complete nutjob, though.

Bookstore
Liverpool
England

Posted on April 23, 2009
Default, England, God, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality, Stores, Suits

I'll Wear the Inevitable Gonorrhea with Pride

Plain girl: He's in a band and he lives in New York. What else is there to talk about?

Farmers Market
Los Angeles, California

Posted on April 10, 2009
California, Default, Geography, Girls, Gossip, Questions, Stores

…Come Help Me Pick Out a Thong.

Mother to three-year-old son: What are you doing? Come here, stop looking at the bras!
Son: (mumbles something unintelligible)
Mother: Yes, I know they're beautiful…but they're not for you!

Target
Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Amused Employee

Posted on April 10, 2009
Beauty, Clothes, Default, Kids, Moms, New Jersey, Questions, Stores, Women

Ben Franklin Was a Tough Kid to Raise

Little boy at ice cream parlor: Uh…can I have um, little gummy bears?
Impatient dad: Oh, that's great. You invented something the store doesn't have.

Westchester, New York

Overheard by: Griffin

Posted on April 6, 2009
Candy, Dads, Default, Guys, Kids, New York, Offers and requests, Questions, Stores

To the Maximum Extent Practicable

20-something to friend: How much next are you?

Wal-Mart
Tuscaloosa, Alabama

Posted on April 2, 2009
Alabama, Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Questions, Stores, Weirdness

…And Scuttling Away, Like a Hermit Crab.

Female shopper, surveying bathing suits: The crotch in this looks a little, uh…narrow. Tiny, actually. I feel like it doesn't provide full coverage.
Sales girl: I know. It's sort of the style now, though.
Female shopper: What do you mean, “style”? My labia showing?
Other shopper, walking up: Yeah, I agree. I don't want my vagina suddenly falling out at the beach.

American Apparel, Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Celessa

Posted on April 1, 2009
Clothes, Compare and contrast, Customers, Default, Employees, Fashion, Feelings, Girls, Questions, Stores, Vagina, Washington, Words

Is That What You Call Your Vagina?

Cashier to woman buying lots of sex toys and lingerie two days after Valentine's Day: Sweetie, you're a little late for Valentine's Day.
Woman: No matter. It's always a good time to freshen up the prop closet.

Touch of Romance
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: awesome

Posted on March 26, 2009
California, Clothes, Default, Employees, Fashion, Holidays, Stores, Toys, Women

And Lip Rings Are Less Work Than Babies

Customer to cashier with lip rings: Okay, two questions. One, did that hurt?
Cashier: Um, not as much as I thought it would.
Customer: Second question, why did you do that?!
Cashier, speechless: Uhm…honestly…
Friend of customer: Ah, hell man, because she likes it. Shit!

Music Store
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: I've got metal in my face too…