To the Maximum Extent Practicable

20-something to friend: How much next are you?

Wal-Mart
Tuscaloosa, Alabama

Posted on April 2, 2009
Alabama, Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Questions, Stores, Weirdness

…And Scuttling Away, Like a Hermit Crab.

Female shopper, surveying bathing suits: The crotch in this looks a little, uh…narrow. Tiny, actually. I feel like it doesn't provide full coverage.
Sales girl: I know. It's sort of the style now, though.
Female shopper: What do you mean, “style”? My labia showing?
Other shopper, walking up: Yeah, I agree. I don't want my vagina suddenly falling out at the beach.

American Apparel, Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Celessa

Posted on April 1, 2009
Clothes, Compare and contrast, Customers, Default, Employees, Fashion, Feelings, Girls, Questions, Stores, Vagina, Washington, Words

Is That What You Call Your Vagina?

Cashier to woman buying lots of sex toys and lingerie two days after Valentine's Day: Sweetie, you're a little late for Valentine's Day.
Woman: No matter. It's always a good time to freshen up the prop closet.

Touch of Romance
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: awesome

Posted on March 26, 2009
California, Clothes, Default, Employees, Fashion, Holidays, Stores, Toys, Women

And Lip Rings Are Less Work Than Babies

Customer to cashier with lip rings: Okay, two questions. One, did that hurt?
Cashier: Um, not as much as I thought it would.
Customer: Second question, why did you do that?!
Cashier, speechless: Uhm…honestly…
Friend of customer: Ah, hell man, because she likes it. Shit!

Music Store
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: I've got metal in my face too…

Posted on March 18, 2009
Colorado, Customers, Default, Employees, Fashion, Friends, Insults, Questions, Stores

The Female Version Of “She Was Asking for It”

Woman on iPhone: Well, he was doing squats, so I didn't think it was inappropriate to stare at his ass.

Trader Joe's
Campbell, California

Posted on March 15, 2009
Ass, California, Default, Health & Hygiene, Stores, Weirdness, Women

And Check Whether It's Honorable or Dishonorable

Girl to friend wearing a short skirt: Ooooooh girl, if you bend over I could see all your discharge!

Ikea Parking Lot
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: The Rex

Posted on March 13, 2009
Clothes, Default, Euphemisms, Florida, Girls, Stores, Words

We Smoke It Over the Smoldering Corpses Of Our Enemies

Guy giving out samples: Free sausage! Try some local sausage for free! Made right here in Seattle, no preservatives!
(people walk right past stand without looking)
Guy, in same tone of voice: I will figure out where you live and burn down your houses! Free sausage! Try a sample!

Pike Place Market
Seattle, Washington

Posted on March 3, 2009
Compare and contrast, Condoms, Default, Employees, Food, Geography, Guys, Stores, Threats, Washington

Dog: Oh, No She Didn't!

Girl at bakery: Awwww…look at the puppy! Well, I don't know, it could just be a multiracial dog.

Dupont Circle
Washington, DC

Posted on March 3, 2009
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Race, Stores, Washington, DC

I Thought You Were Going to Say “Public Healthcare”

Seven-year-old girl: Daddy, do you know what stinks ?
Dad: No, what?
Seven-year-old girl: Dog farts.
Dad: Let's not talk about that here.

TJ Maxx
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: A.Taylor

Posted on February 21, 2009
Animals, Dads, Default, Family ties, Girls, Guys, Kids, Michigan, Questions, Stores

Ooh, and a Round Of STD Tests!

Girl #1: Hey.
Girl #2: Hey, what's wrong?
Girl #1: I fucked someone.
Girl #2: I fucked someone too. Let's get a coffee.

Bookstore
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Jaclyn

Posted on February 20, 2009
Australia, Default, Drinking & drunks, Girls, Questions, Sex, Stores

Stores