Please Join Mr. Morse and Mr. Braille in the Office

Woman over intercom: Attention, there is an emergency in the ladies' room. There are no more paper towels.
(customers in super long line snicker)
Man on intercom (a minute or two later): Attention Mr. Dewey, we have an emergency in the office. Nobody can understand your decimal system.

Trader Joe's
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Hungry

Posted on November 26, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Employees, Guys, Offers and requests, Office politics, Stores, Washington, DC, Weirdness, Women

Boys: I'm Keeping It in My Pants Now, Thanks Anyway

High school girl #1: I'm so glad I only have one baby daddy. I feel sorry for those girls with more than one! You've gotta figure out who has money and who doesn't.
High school girl #2: That is so true!

Grocery Store
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Just doing my grocery shopping

Posted on November 26, 2008
Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Girls, Money, Relationships, Stores, Teens, Texas

…In Unrelated News

Preppy guy #1: “Pangaea,” like the continent?
Preppy guy #2: Yeah, my sister just had a face lift.

Wal-Mart
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Rev Loon

Posted on November 24, 2008
Beauty, Default, Family ties, Geography, Guys, Preppies, Questions, Stores, Texas, Weirdness, Words

It's Almost Like You're Blaming the Victim Here

Guy, carrying basket: It's just hard to know that I did so much for her, I did everything right in our marriage and now she is intentionally trying to hurt me.
Girl, pushing cart: Seriously? You did everything right?
Guy: Yes, I did.
Girl: Um, you slept with me.
Guy: Yeah, but that was a long time ago and I didn't do it to hurt her.

Trader Joe's
Hillcrest, California

Posted on November 22, 2008
California, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Infidelity, Questions, Relationships, Stores

…Well, You Say I Never Communicate!

Teenage cart boy on cell: I'm at GIANT right now. I just have to go home and take a shit and I'll be fine.

GIANT
Lehighton, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Missy

Posted on November 16, 2008
Default, Feelings, Guys, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Poop, Stores, Teens

A One-Two Punch Of Knowledge Knocks Marcy Out

Girl #1: Oh my god! Romeo and Juliet is a book!
Girl #2: It's like, Shakespeare.
Girl #1: Oh my god, who?

Borders Bookstore
Commack, New York

Posted on November 9, 2008
Books, Default, Girls, New York, Questions, Stores, Stupidity

Tonight on The Don't-Have-to-Wonder-Anymore Years

Kid: Can we go yet? Why are we shopping for luggage here, anyway?
Mom: Because I'm leaving your father.

Department Store
Altamonte Springs, Florida

Overheard by: Voip

Posted on November 8, 2008
Default, Florida, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Questions, Relationships, Shopping, Stores, Weirdness

I've Got My Surprised Face on and Everything!

Toddler being towed by mom, bawling: But I want that to be my surprise now!

Convenience Store
Greenwich, Connecticut

Overheard by: Tyrone

Posted on November 3, 2008
Connecticut, Default, Gifts, Kids, Offers and requests, Stores, Wishes

Then I'm Afraid There'll Be No Way Around Our Necromany Fee

Woman in cell phone store: I want to change the billing name on this account.
Employee: I'm sorry, we can't allow you to make changes on this account. You're not the primary account-holder.
Woman: Right. The primary account holder died.
Employee: I'm sorry, only the primary account-holder can make changes to the account.
Woman: He's dead!

Verizon Store
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Posted on November 1, 2008
Customers, Death & dying, Default, Employees, Michigan, Names, Offers and requests, On the phone, Stores, Stupidity, Wishes, Women

Do I Question the Priest in Church?

Husband: How can women spend so much money on purses?
Wife: Shhh!

Coach Store
Pennsylvania

Posted on October 31, 2008
Couples, Default, Gender issues, Guys, Money, Pennsylvania, Questions, Stores, Women

Stores