History professor: In New York the exit signs are red. They're like, “Fire! Get out!” In California the exit signs are green. They're like, “Dude, if you wanna get out, cool. If you like fire, if that's your thing, that's okay, too.”
Aurora, Illinois
Morbidly obese man: It’s like when you go dumpster-diving and find a whole bedroom set.
Wal-Mart
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: Andrea
Voice over loudspeaker: Attention members. Will Arthur Sarksian come to the front desk? We found your Speedos.
24 Hour Fitness
Glendale, California
Overheard by: James Jameson
Woman talking on phone to friend: I have a real thing for little boys. I never used to…
Train Leaving Brighton
England
Overheard by: Wishing she hadn’t tuned in at that point
Professor: Everyone who thinks it's this answer jump up and say, “I'm brilliant!”
(nobody moves)
Professor: Everyone who thinks it's this answer jump up and say, “I'm not so brilliant, yet.”
(nobody moves)
Professor: Everyone else jump up and say, “I'm inhibited!”
Organic Chemistry Class
Texas Lutheran University
Overheard by: Kimberly
Guy: It's not like he has one extra nipple… He has two.
Girl: He's like a rat!
Starbucks
Hollywood, California
Female college student: Yeah, I tod did that too!
Guy college student: Did you just say “tod” instead of “totally”?
Female college student: Yeah, I never say any words that are more than two syllables!
College
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Cat
Girl, frantically looking through fridge: Shit, I’m gonna be late for work… What the hell? Why is your rice in my freezer?
Boyfriend: Because then it will be happy and prosperous.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Nic
Professor: And tomorrow, we'll talk about the suck knob.
University of Hartford
Connecticut
