I Blame Our Science Teacher for Your Potassium Fetish

Wannabe scene chick on phone: I drew another picture for you. There's a banana involved again. (pause) You and your bananas!

Chesapeake, Virginia

Posted on March 3, 2020
Body parts, Food, Girls, On the phone, Virginia, Weirdness

This Season’s Most Unlikely Love Story

Girl, looking at video games: If I had a sword that pimp, I would just kill people all day and run around.
Boy following her: Girl, if you had a sword that pimp I would stop being gay and make you stop to make love to me.
Girl, looking appalled: I’d be busy killing people, though.
Boy, matter-of-factly: Well… I’d make you stop every thirteen kills.

Random Walmart
Boise, Idaho

Overheard by: Bunnee

Posted on March 1, 2020
Compare and contrast, Crimes, Friends, Games, Gays, Girls, Guys, Idaho, Murder, Sexuality, Stores, Weirdness, Wishes

Then There Was the Guy We Stabbed and Stuck in the Dumpster…

Hungover girl #1: I really feel like an ass.
Hungover girl #2: Why do you feel like an ass?
Hungover girl #1: Well I did throw a drink on someone.
Hungover girl #2, nodding: And got kicked out of the bar twice.

Wilmington, North Carolina

Posted on February 29, 2020
Ass, Compare and contrast, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Girls, North Carolina, Violence, Weirdness

They Don't Tell Me to Burn Things! I Swear!

Customer: Hi, I'd like to return these pants.
Store manager: Can I ask why?
Customer: The pants talk.
Store manager: (…)
Customer, frantically: I mean, they pop! They pop!

Burnsville, Minnesota

Overheard by: I had to return a pair of talking pants once too

Posted on February 25, 2020
Bosses, Clients, Clothes, Clothing, Minnesota, Questions, Shopping, Weirdness, Words

To Be Fair, I Only Saw Her a Little.

Psych professor: I dated a girl who was 4'10'' once, but she always insisted that that was the legal cutoff height for little people.
Psych student: Actually, I think 4'11'' is the cutoff.
Psych professor: What? I dated a midget?

Bennington, Vermont

Overheard by: laughing in class