Drugging Miss Daisy

Old white lady, leaving table with a flourish: Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom to shoot up.

Lemongrass
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Loves Her Some Thai Food

Posted on July 14, 2020
Age and ageing, Compare and contrast, Drugs, Etiquette, Ladies who lunch, Maryland, Restaurants, Weirdness, Wishes, Words

After I Spent All That Time Photoshopping That Dick Into a Pacifier

Freshman girl: Well, like, this was from like 2 am the day it was due. I mean, the first one I submitted was of me with a pacifier in my mouth, and they told me it was inappropriate at the last minute. I mean, like, why couldn't they have told me that in January when I submitted it?

University
Connecticut

Overheard by: You really needed to be told?

Posted on July 10, 2020
Connecticut, Education, Girls, Stupidity, Weirdness

Typhoid Mary Was Also an Avid Bowler

Woman at table dining with friend: I mean, I love infectious diseases, don’t get me wrong, but that’s not my life.

Red Restaurant
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: kyndgrrl

Posted on July 9, 2020
Compare and contrast, Feelings, Friends, Health & Hygiene, Ladies who lunch, Maladies, Restaurants, Tennessee, Threats, Weirdness

Unlike My Grading Scale

Professor: The guillotine was humane. It was just humane many thousands of times.

Oberlin, Ohio

Overheard by: Secret Spy

Posted on June 22, 2020
Class, Default, History, Murder, Ohio, Teachers, Weirdness, Words

Isn't That an Old Irish Drinking Song?

Neal Patrick Harris lookalike: Okay, okay: no pickle dicks on Molly!

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Posted on June 19, 2020
Guys, New Mexico, Penis, Weirdness

Everyone Feels Like This When They See Tom Cruise

Girl #1: Shit!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: I forgot to ask him if he's gay!
Girl #2: But you don't even know him!
Girl #1: I know, and now I've lost my chance…I'll wonder for the rest of my life if he was gay or not. And maybe one day, when I'm old and gray, I'll see him, at a bus-stop maybe, and then I'll try to ask him…and he'll be already on the bus, and I'll never know.
Girl #2: You're kind of a freak.

University of Delaware

Posted on June 19, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Default, Delaware, Girls, Public transportation, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

Perhaps Another Bong Hit Will Clarify Things

Professor: What does 95% confidence mean?
Weird kid: It means there are 95 parallel universes between the values!
Professor: Well I don't know about that.

Kalamazoo, Michigan