Blundergrad: I was really irritable today. There was something up my butt. Literally!
Northwestern University
Illinois
Blundergrad: I was really irritable today. There was something up my butt. Literally!
Northwestern University
Illinois
Girl: Seriously, she’s completely obsessed. Like all of her final drawings were of his penis. Like all of them.
Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: Abbie
Girl: So yeah, it would just be like Gulliver’s Travels.
[Pause.]Boy: There’d be kitten penises everywhere!
Warwick, England
Hipster guy: Yeah, it probably didn’t help that I gave you poison ivy and then threw up on you.
Bar
Columbia, Missouri
Mother, to three-year old in stroller: Oh, ha ha ha! You’re retarded.
Paducah, Kentucky
Middle school student: It’s not my fault he got hit with the G-string…
Toms River
New Jersey
Overheard by: the sub
Angry suit on cell: I cleaned out my ass for you, bitch!
On the Street
San Francisco, California
Jewish man: I am not sexist!
Jewish man’s friend: You are so sexist Archie Bunker is embarrassed.
Jewish man: I’m not sexist. I’ll stab a chick in her junk!
Israeli Martial Arts Class
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Ari
Teen girl: Sam is so sexy. There’s like, no poopy on him.
Palm City, Florida
Overheard by: I don’t know about you
