Guy #1: Yo, she can't be saying that “you small shit” to you, man. Was it limp or fully flexed?
Guy #2: No, it was ready to go.
Guy #1: Damn, she trippin.
Tysons Corner, Vriginia
Plus-size sistah: And that damn condom came off!
Friend: Oh, shit, girl! What happened?
Plus-size sistah: I dunno. It's still up in there.
Friend: What? How long?
Plus-size sistah: It's been three days. I can't reach that bitch!
Friend: Girl! That's nasty! And if you askin' what I think you askin', you can forget it!
Restaurant, Chinatown
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Joe
Sorority girl: Oh, I forgot: while we were there we met this homeless guy! And then he showed us his house…which I guess was kind of weird.
Mt. Pinnacle
Little Rock, Arkansas
Overheard by: Climber
Man playing fantasy board game: You can have as many pilgrims as you want!
Wegmans
Woodbridge, New Jersey
Old lady, walking up to old man: Hi there. Sorry I was just staring off at you. I had something on my mind and I think you were thinking it too. Bye!
Old man: Bye.
Sacred Heart University
Connecticut
Blonde: Oh my god! Are you wearing makeup?
Black man in drag: Yes I am, sugar.
Blonde: Where did you get it?
Black man in drag: Um, the store.
Blonde: Do they make makeup for black people?
Pigeon Forge, Tennessee
Overheard by: Natalie
Bearded guy: So, I've been really getting into, like, semicolons.
Toronto
Canadia
Man coming out of strip club: My mouth still tastes like dollars.
New Orleans, Louisiana
Teenage girl #1 (suddenly): I wonder if there are strip clubs with just fat women.
Teenage girl #2: God, I hope so.
San Jose, California
Professor: Isaac Newton, on his deathbed, was proud to announce that he was a virgin. So if any of you want to be famous scientists, you are going to have to be willing to make a few sacrifices.
Girl, raising hand: Um.
Professor: Oh, is it too late?
De Anza Community College
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl loves physics
