Wishes

Older teenager: Go get me my Clif Bar!
Little girl, eating ice cream sandwich: I will, but I don't want my ice cream to melt.
Older teenager, very annoyed: Bring it with you. You know an ice cream sandwich is portable!

Starbucks
Manhattan, New York

Old man to teenage girl: Every time he saw an egg he had to eat it.

Melbourne
Australia

Mother, exiting trolley, to her son: Okay, come on, there’s people behind us.
Son: I want to say goodbye!
Mother: Oh, god.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Old lady: I'm not very hungry, I'm gonna have something small.
Old man: If you wanted something small, we would have stayed at home and I would have given you something small.

Lester's Diner
Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Woman: Jorge, I wanna go to Kmart!
Man: Yeah, and I want chop suey. We all have our dreams, Maria.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Kate

Young boy: I just wish this bus would come so I can stop thinking about my nipples.

Bus Stop
England

Crew member to friends: Oh, the gay cooks are nothing. I mean, yeah, they can have their feminine touches, but if you want real weird, you need Angela.
Friend: Angela? She sounds nice!
Crew member: She's head of security. She's two meters tall, and you need to take a step back before you can identify her as a woman.
Friend: Surely she's not that ugly?
Crew member: Oh look, there she is.
Friend: Oh my god!

Gent Jazz festival
Belgium

Professor: What do you think my fantasy is?
Student: Armpit sex… in a park. No, wait. Menage a trois. All-male in a… ballroom?

Godfrey, Illinois

Middle-aged woman, about teenager: She's so beautiful. She could be a model. (pause) I want to run her over with my car.

Bellingham, Washington

Rowdy child in shopping cart: Mom! What's that?
Tired mom: Spam.
Rowdy child: Mom! Can we get it? Can we get it, mom? Mom? Can we? Mom!
Tired mom: No.
(rowdy child starts freaking out)
Tired mom: Okay! Fine, but will you eat it?
Rowdy child: Nope…I just like attention.

Sobey's
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: aleXis