Overweight tourist: Oh, get a picture of me outside Starbucks.
Seattle, Washington
Overweight tourist: Oh, get a picture of me outside Starbucks.
Seattle, Washington
Man in Mötley Crüe t-shirt to little girl: But yeah, I think I'd bring Kurt Cobain back for a day just for the fun of it.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overweight middle-aged woman, about infant crying non-stop: Oh my god, seriously, somebody just kill it.
Target
Norman, Oklahoma
Guy: I think it's just every guy's fantasy to live with a giant black man and engage in tomfoolery.
Santa Clara University
California
Overheard by: Erin
Psychologist #1: He said he was going to do his laundry, which is a really good sign.
Psychologist #2: Yeah, you can't want to commit suicide and want clean clothes.
Manhattan, New York
Hot brunette to guy friend: I just really want to get it, you know, so I can fuck it in its ear.
Guy: Ugh, me too!
Liberty State Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Julia
Nurse: We had the father bless the house when we moved in, but weird stuff keeps happening. I don't think the spirits are happy.
Secretary: Happy? You need the priest to exorcise your house! You want the spirits to be gone, not just happy!
Hospital
Burlingame, California
Overheard by: Just here for the paycheck
Girl #1: I pulled out my knuckle hair with my teeth just now.
Girl #2: What? What the hell?
Girl #1: I was bored. And I wanted to see what it would feel like.
(silence)
Girl #1: It felt like a pinch.
Columbia, Missouri
Store employee: Would you like to try a free sample of hot cocoa?
Nine-year-old daughter, impatient: Come on, mom! We need to get to your appointment!
Mom: Shut up! There's always time for free cocoa. Here!
Nine-year-old daughter: I don't want any.
Mom: Then just shut up.
Minnetonka, Minnesota
Girl to friend: I'm going to order a pint. Or do we just want to split a pitcher?
Friend: I'm pregnant, remember?
Girl: Oh, yeah. But I thought you were planning to abort it?
Friend: I am. (sighs) Okay, let's get a pitcher.
Bar
Zwankendamme
Belgium
