Women

Nobody Can Do Sexual Harassment Like the Insane

Crazy bag lady, loudly: I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to another passenger on the subway)
Crazy bag lady, now in passenger's face: I don't suck dick for pussy!
(female passenger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag lady: Why you jumping? Why you jumping, bitch!? You weren't jumpin' last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Female passenger: Excuse me, ma'am, don't say that to me! You don't know me!
(subway train stops)
Conductor: City Hall station!
Female passenger: Excuse me, sir, there's a crazy lady on the subway harassing the other passengers.
Conductor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(female passenger points to crazy woman yelling)
Conductor: Ma'am, are you bothering people?
Crazy bag lady: Why you tryin' to fuck me standing up!? Why don't you fuck me lying down like a gentleman!
Conductor: Ma'am, I'm calling the police.

Broad Street Line Subway
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

That's What Everyone Says. And Everyone Lies.

Woman: I'd rather do the kidnapping than be kidnapped.
Man, snorting in disbelief: Oh, puh-lease!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: MarthaQ

One Of These Days, We Should Get a Dog.

Woman on cell: No no no…I haven't been doing much shopping at all. The only thing I've bought is a fur dog collar. It was only $300!

Park City, Utah

…Before Church.

Middle aged woman with grandchildren, at 11:30 am: I just took the kids out to breakfast and now I need to go home and have me a Jack Daniels.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/329259996/please-bring-me-with-you.html

Overheard by: Les

Which Is Much More Important Than Sending Her to School

Woman on cell: I saw the most adorable little cheetah, so I bought it for her. You know, I am the one who assigns personalities to all her animals. We have a ritual.

3rd Street Promenade
Santa Monica, California

No! Haven't You Been Listening?

Lady 1: So they're getting married now.
Lady 2: But I thought she had a baby.
Lady 1: Yes, but it's his brother's. See, her sister wanted to be with him so she told him her sister couldn't have normal children. It turns out she's the one who can't have children.
Lady 2: Oh… so they're getting married?

Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: Confused listener

…Grandma.

Ghetto lady on cell: Where you at? (pause) Yeah, you better be at work and not out fucking around on me. (pause) You know damn well what the fuck I am talking about, motherfucker! (pause) Bitch, I am making tacos so I gotta get some fucking sour cream. (pause) I said I am making fucking tacos. (pause) Alright, I love you too.

Sun Fresh
Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: WesAli

Wouldn't That Require the Right to Bear Arms?

Pleasant English lady in line at checkout: Whoever invented all these human rights should be shot!

Scott Air Force Base
St. Clair County, Illinois

Overheard by: Ninjamedic

She Does a Lovely Rendition of “Plaque in the USSR”

American woman on cell: So when you go to Moscow, can you bring me back some toothpaste? Yeah, just Crest. Thanks.

13th St
Washington, DC

We're Imagining the Cat Lady from The Simpsons

Crazy lady to group of girls: Well, there's us and then there's them. And when I was your age I said I was never gonna be like them. And look at me… Do I look anything like them?

Greenfield, Massachusetts

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