See? You're Obviously a New Yorker!

Nigerian guy, joking: Ha ha! Yeah, it's probably because I am black, hey.
American girl: Oh my god, you can't say that! You have to say “African-American.”
Nigerian guy: But I'm not African-American; I'm Nigerian. I suppose you could say “African”?
American girl: No, look, we learned it in elementary school! It's “African-American”!
Nigerian guy: Okay… So you're Scandinavian, by that rationale.
American girl: No, I'm American! You're African-American!
English guy: Please shut the fuck up.

Cambridge
England

Overheard by: TopCat

Posted on July 13, 2015
Education, England, Foreigners, Girls, Guys, Insults, Race, Stupidity, Words

Hey, Loaf Quilting Is the Wave of the Future

Student, discussing a character’s problems: It’s like he’s in between a needle and some bread.
Teacher: … Do you mean a rock and a hard place?

English Class, Hazelwood West High School
Florissant, Missouri

Posted on July 12, 2015
Default, Education, Missouri, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Teens, Words

Is the Range of Gay Sex Really That Limited?

Straight guy: I really need your advice about this girl.
Gay guy: Stick it in her butt!
Straight guy: No. Her mom set us up on this date…
Gay guy: Stick it in her butt!
Straight guy: You just suggested that. I mean, I like her but I definitely don’t want to date her, and we’re supposed to hang out this weekend, but I don’t know what to do with her.
Gay guy: Well, just be like: “Hey, do you want to toss a Frisbee in the arboretum?”
Straight guy: And if she says yes, be like: “Okay, do you want to toss my salad in the arboretum?”
Gay guy: Awesome.

Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: $kank

Posted on July 9, 2015
Advice, Backdoor, Compliments, Default, Family ties, Friends, Guys, Offers and requests, Pennsylvania, Queers, Questions, Words

…Until Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Lecturer, laughing manically: Okay, guys! I promise that is the last time I will mention poop this semester. (under her breath) Probably.

Film Class
Perth
Australia

Posted on July 9, 2015
Australia, Poop, Teachers, Weirdness, Words

Dear Diary, The Refined Chitchat Is Still Not Working

Man: Hey, what are you girls doing?
Woman #1, uninterested: Cigarette break.
Man: So, what are you girls up to?
Woman #2: Cigarette break.
Man: So, you girls interested in a threesome?

Central Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Posted on July 9, 2015
Default, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Massachusetts, Smoking, Time Management, Women, Words

Pretend He's Speaking German, If You Want to Be Able to Sleep at Night.

Little boy, in sing-song chant, marching around outdoor cafe: Die die, die die, die die, die die!

Santa Monica, California

Posted on July 9, 2015
California, Death & dying, Default, Guys, Kids, Words

As Explained in Thurber's The Wonderful O

Student to another: You're an asshole!
Science teacher: If you're going to say that, you should use the proper term, which is “anus.”

High School
Auckland
New Zealand

Posted on July 7, 2015
Advice, Ass, Etiquette, Insults, New Zealand, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers, Words

They're Foot-Shaped Holes in the Fabric Of the Universe!

Girl: Socks aren't socks.

Fort McMurray
Alberta
Canadia

Posted on July 3, 2015
Canadia, Clothes, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Words

He Hangs Around Outside Weight Watchers Meetings, Just Waiting

Girl #1, reading aloud from a magazine: Did you know there are only 13 blimps in the entire world?
Girl #2: What's a blimp?
Girl #1: I don't know, but Liam wants to be killed by one.

Birmingham, Alabama

Posted on July 3, 2015
Alabama, Girls, Murder, Questions, Science, Wishes, Words

God Decides to Test Out a More Adorable Grim Reaper

Little boy, excitedly: Everybody's dying these days!

Hooksett, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Evee

Posted on July 2, 2015
Death & dying, Default, Guys, Kids, New Hampshire, Words

Words

Dear Diary, The Refined Chitchat Is Still Not Working