Six-year-old boy: What happens at grandma's stays at grandma's!
Mother: Ssssshhhhhhhhh!
Wal-Mart
Grand Junction, Colorado
Overheard by: Vanessa
Six-year-old boy: What happens at grandma's stays at grandma's!
Mother: Ssssshhhhhhhhh!
Wal-Mart
Grand Junction, Colorado
Overheard by: Vanessa
60-something daughter: Mother, your hair looks like crap. You cannot wear your hair like that on Easter.
80-something mother: I do not give a rat's ass what my hair has to do with it. What does Easter have to do with it?
6o-something daughter: Mother! You are going to hell for saying that!
80-something mother: I'm going to hell for saying “Easter”?
60-something daughter: No, mother, for saying “ass”! For saying “ass” on Easter!
80-something mother: Oh, hell, really? Well, most of my family's going to hell anyway, so Easter ass, Easter ass, Easter ass, Easter ass! So, there! Happy?
Grandma's house
Illinois
Frumpy middle aged woman: Excuse me, who can I talk to if I'm interested in purchasing a piece of furniture?
Employee: That would be me. How can I help you?
Frumpy middle aged woman: I'm interesting in purchasing a piece of furniture.
Furniture Store
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Mom: Do you know what next Wednesday is?
Three-year-old son: Friday!
Country Club
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Annie Tewkesbury
Professor: Does this fit into his expanding and contracting magical porn circle?
Washington University
St Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: You can't laugh in a four person class
50-something mom: It was the first time I've ever heard Brian* call uncle Ned* a prick!
20-something son: Mom!
50-something mom: I don't even know what that is, a prick.
20-something son: Don't worry about it.
50-something mom: Well, Brian's right. Ned is a prick, whatever that is.
Woodbridge, Virginia
Overheard by: Cols
(two 6th-grade boys are sitting on the bus playing with their phones)
Boy #1: Hey, you know “saxophone” sounds a lot like “sexy-phone”!
Boy #2: Haha! Then for short you could call it “the sex”!
Boy #1: (laughs)
Boy #2: It would be like, “Hey, do you know how to play the sex?”
Boy #1: Heh-heh… Yeah, its a very complicated one.
Boy #2: Ew… That's gross.
Boy #1: Yeah, you know where you learn how to do it?
Boy #2: Where?
Boy #1: In college.
Boy #2: No way! I thought we learned everything in 5th grade.
Boy #1: Yeah…but I mean this time they tell you where to stick it in.
Boy #2: Ohhh…
School Bus
Maryland
Overheard by: Sam
Hipster girl #1: I got into Northeastern for grad school. I dunno what to do.
Hipster girl #2: Wow, that's really good! What a great school. Northwestern is like, famous.
Hipster girl #1: No, Northeastern.
Hipster girl #2: Oh. Is that a good school?
Hipster girl #1: Not really. But I figured if I put it small on my resume or say it fast, people will get confused. It clearly works!
30 Bus
San Francisco, California
