Little kid (skipping and yelling): Tighty whitey man! Tighty whitey man!
Mount Vernon Farmers' Market
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: livin'
(two 6th-grade boys are sitting on the bus playing with their phones)
Boy #1: Hey, you know “saxophone” sounds a lot like “sexy-phone”!
Boy #2: Haha! Then for short you could call it “the sex”!
Boy #1: (laughs)
Boy #2: It would be like, “Hey, do you know how to play the sex?”
Boy #1: Heh-heh… Yeah, its a very complicated one.
Boy #2: Ew… That's gross.
Boy #1: Yeah, you know where you learn how to do it?
Boy #2: Where?
Boy #1: In college.
Boy #2: No way! I thought we learned everything in 5th grade.
Boy #1: Yeah…but I mean this time they tell you where to stick it in.
Boy #2: Ohhh…
School Bus
Maryland
Overheard by: Sam
Hipster girl #1: I got into Northeastern for grad school. I dunno what to do.
Hipster girl #2: Wow, that's really good! What a great school. Northwestern is like, famous.
Hipster girl #1: No, Northeastern.
Hipster girl #2: Oh. Is that a good school?
Hipster girl #1: Not really. But I figured if I put it small on my resume or say it fast, people will get confused. It clearly works!
30 Bus
San Francisco, California
Enthusiastic guy: I mean, the only thing I hated worse than the word “gist” was eating squash and touching cotton balls.
Seattle, Washington
Art history professor: Those long ship voyages… you're looking at the sheep, the sheep's looking back at you, and “hey!”
Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania
Large, beefy boyfriend: Wow babe, what you said was really extinct… wait, doesn't “extinct” mean dead and not here anymore? I think I mean “distinct” or something.
Nerdy girlfriend: I love you.
Georgetown University
Washington, DC
Man on cell: I guess I'm just going to have to scrub my legs.
Lafayette, Louisiana
Overheard by: Kristin
