Advice

Guy in suit: I said, “It’s better than a Chinese prison, you should be used to it by now.”

Memorial Union Bus Stop
University of Rhode Island, Kingston, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Jo

College guy: I'm scared!
College girl: Just do it!
College guy: No, I'm scared!
College girl: Be a man!
College guy: I don't wanna!

Salisbury, Maryland

Gym teacher, during stretches: If you do it this way, it makes it easier and also more challenging.

Henry Wise Wood High School
Calgary
Canadia

Mom: Arrrrgh. My brain just isn’t working today!
Eight-year-old (deadpan): Did you try turning it off and on again?

Steveston
Canadia

Overheard by: laughing sangria out my nose

Maths teacher: Girls, what you need to do is try and think like a mathematician.
Student: Why, miss? We're not mathematicians.
Maths teacher: Yes, you are. Whenever you do maths, you're a mathematician.
Student: What about when we're in English class? Does that make us engleticians?

Australia

Drunk guy: Yeah, well, you could spunk on her face, then lick your jizz off her dreadlocks.

Pub
Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Girl #1: Honesty is the best policy.
Girl #2: Yeah, just sleep with the guy!

Barrack Heights
Australia

Overheard by: I think we might differ on our definitions of

10-year-old boy to another: Yeah, if you smoke it that way you can still get cancer. But if you smoke it through a water bong… yeah, about the same.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Lauren

Sophomore #1: I mean, I don't really keep up with current events that much.
Sophomore #2: You need watch the news. Seriously. It's the twentieth century.

High School
Kentucky

Overheard by: Oh, high school

Girl to friend, after unsuccessfully trying to open locked front doors: Maybe they'll let us in if we bang hard enough.

High School
San Francisco, California