Loud woman on cell: I mean I know he was seriously injured–he had a few fractures and sprains and he hurt his neck and back… But hey, that's what you get when you take too many shots and fall backwards down a flight of stairs because you tripped over your neighbor's dog… I'm so glad we won this case!
MBTA Train
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
Drunk blonde: Do you think deer get bored? I mean, all they do is go into the wilderness and play. It’s not like they can go home and say, ‘Hey, Mom deer. Hey, Dad deer! What’s for dinner?’ I would hate to be an animal.
Driver: We are animals! And humans get bored.
Drunk blonde: Yeah, but when we get bored, we can drink and play beer pong.
Driver: How do you know deers don’t play beer pong?
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: BTAN
English teacher: Literature just isn't exciting unless people suffer. Like Dora the Explorer, nothing bad ever happens to her. The show would be a lot better if her monkey got hit by a car and died, wouldn't it?
High School
Calgary
Canadia
Overheard by: mcoo
Girl to friends trying to eat lunch: And then all of a sudden his penis started groundhoging!
Friends: (blank stare)
Franklin Dining Hall, UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Cate
Cafeteria kid: Acting would be really boring if we were all giant slugs.
High School Cafeteria
Victoria, B.C.
Canadia
Overheard by: Sefie
Flight attendant over PA after bump during taxi: Don’t worry guys, it was just a cat!
Southwest Airlines, BWI airport
Baltimore, Maryland
Cholo #1, tapping roughly on glass: Heeeey monkey! Oh! Monkey!
Treehugger in sandals with socks, hysterically: Stop it, stop it! Oh my god!
(cholo #2 and #3 snicker and speak Spanish to each other)
Cholo #1: Crazy gringa…needa get laid.
Treehugger: Well, at least I didn't have ten kids by the time I was twenty! Like your mother!
National Zoo
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Meaggoo
Chav, showing off in front of group of underage girls: Yes bruv, you don't even know, there was this duck, yeah, and I snapped its neck, innit! It was swimmin' around with its head loose making stupid noises!
Slightly older chav friend: Breds, you're talking shit, man. Number one, if you snapped a duck's neck it wouldn't still be swimming. B, I was there, remember, that fucking duck bit you on the hand, bruv and you screamed like a woman and ran away.
Cambridgeshire
England
Overheard by: Tim C
Biology professor, on earthworm digestive systems: And I’m including this part because I enjoy saying words like “anus”.
South Dakota State University
South Dakota
Teen #1: Why didn't you send it to me?
Teen #2: I don't know. I sent you the humping cats.
Harrison, Michigan
Overheard by: Lauren
