Dude at bar: So wait, after her husband left her here by herself–completely shitfaced–she then fucked a total stranger in the bathroom?
Bartender: Yep.
Dude at bar: And then she came back out here bragging about getting banged in the ass?
Gay dude, sidling up: Sounds like an awesome night.
District Bar
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Big D
Girl to friend: Sorry about your vagina, but I'm sure the dog is okay.
Bar
Colorado
Woman drying her hands, nonchalantly, to woman ball-gagged and tied to a toilet: “Oh, you changed your hair. It looks pretty.”
Women’s Bathroom, Bondage-a-GoGo
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy: I told him to stop buying me shots.
Girl: That don't mean you got to drink em'!
Bar
Charlotte, North Carolina
Guy #1: So yeah, you can get in the water with them but you can’t touch the manatees unless they swim up to you.
Guy #2: Sort of like a strip club.
Bar
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Matt
Guy to friend returning from bathroom: (distraught) But I wanted to be the one to do it with you! I wanted to be the one to do it with you!
Gables Night Club
Inwood West Virginia
Overheard by: joanna
Korean queer, smoking: I heard oral sex gives you more throat cancer than cigarettes.
Dida’s Bar
Sao Paulo
Brazil
Drunk man: I may not have a home, but I'm not like homeless homeless…I take showers and usually smell good.
Drunk woman: And what does this have to do with blowjobs?
Pub
Orange County, California
Overheard by: Katie
Girl #1: It is so hard getting laid living with my brother. I am a fucking loud girl when it's going on. For me to be quiet has been hard as hell.
Girl #2: Maybe get him to gag you, you'll like it and you will be quiet, that is what I found myself getting into.
Girl #1: I don't know, maybe I will try it, but I can't be doing that with a guy I meet on the first night.
Girl #3: It would be like anything else: try it a few times, if you don't like it find something else.
Girl #1: Last time I did that I tried anal, and that did not end well.
Girls #2 and #3: (laugh hard)
Girl #2: I remember that disaster.
Bar
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Man: At least Canadian homosexuals take it up the ass.
Bar
New Jersey
