I Can Always Play Canasta Again Later

Guy to friend returning from bathroom: (distraught) But I wanted to be the one to do it with you! I wanted to be the one to do it with you!

Gables Night Club
Inwood West Virginia

Overheard by: joanna

Posted on July 9, 2015
Bars & Clubs, Default, Feelings, Friends, Guys, Sexuality, West Virginia, Wishes

From Now On, I’m Smoking with the Other End

Korean queer, smoking: I heard oral sex gives you more throat cancer than cigarettes.

Dida’s Bar
Sao Paulo
Brazil

Posted on July 9, 2015
Bars & Clubs, BJs, Brazil, Compare and contrast, Default, Maladies, Queers, Stupidity

Wouldn't You Much Rather Blow Someone Lemon-Scented?

Drunk man: I may not have a home, but I'm not like homeless homeless…I take showers and usually smell good.
Drunk woman: And what does this have to do with blowjobs?

Pub
Orange County, California

Overheard by: Katie

Posted on June 29, 2015
Bars & Clubs, Bathing, BJs, California, Compare and contrast, Default, Drunks, Girls, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Questions

I Shouldn't Have Skipped the Preliminaries

Girl #1: It is so hard getting laid living with my brother. I am a fucking loud girl when it's going on. For me to be quiet has been hard as hell.
Girl #2: Maybe get him to gag you, you'll like it and you will be quiet, that is what I found myself getting into.
Girl #1: I don't know, maybe I will try it, but I can't be doing that with a guy I meet on the first night.
Girl #3: It would be like anything else: try it a few times, if you don't like it find something else.
Girl #1: Last time I did that I tried anal, and that did not end well.
Girls #2 and #3: (laugh hard)
Girl #2: I remember that disaster.

Bar
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on June 27, 2015
Backdoor, Bars & Clubs, Family ties, Girls, Kink, Pennsylvania, Sex

Just Not from Their Government

Man: At least Canadian homosexuals take it up the ass.

Bar
New Jersey

Posted on June 24, 2015
Bars & Clubs, Default, Geography, Gripes, Guys, New Jersey, Sexuality

Correct– Yet You Still Manage to Sound Stupid.

Princess: You guys, Johnny Depp doesn't always play dark characters. He was blonde in Secret Window!

Little Bar
Kentucky

Overheard by: Dead Betty

Posted on June 23, 2015
About celebrities, Bars & Clubs, Character, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Kentucky, Movies

She Heard It Was an Island and Expects to Find Palm Trees

Tipsy chick: Why is she wearing a bra-top to Alcatraz?

The Big Hunt Bar
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on June 13, 2015
Bars & Clubs, Chicks, Clothes, Default, Questions, Stupidity, Washington, DC

With a Cardboard Cut-Out Of Him, Anyway

Girl: So all these old football guys showed up…and long story short, she ended up making out. With Terry Bradshaw.

Joe's Place
Iowa City, Iowa

Overheard by: devon

Posted on June 10, 2015
About celebrities, Bars & Clubs, Girls, Gossip, Iowa, K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Unless She Gets Knocked Up Again in the Interim

Girl #1: So do you have any friends who are total disasters like us, who would want to go to Vegas that weekend?
Girl #2: I have a friend who's getting an abortion next week.
Girl #1: Oh, good, so she'll be good to go by then.

Bar
Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: Orkide

Posted on June 9, 2015
Abortion, Arizona, Bars & Clubs, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Questions, Relationships, US Geography

And Are You Looking at Me, or Not?

Dart player #1: You're kicking ass because you can aim with your lazy eye.
Dart player #2: No, I'm not using my lazy eye.
Dart player #1: Well, it's still not fair.

Riprock's
Denton, Texas

Overheard by: still glad i don't have a lazy eye

Posted on June 8, 2015
Bars & Clubs, Compare and contrast, Default, Games, Guys, Texas

Bars & Clubs