20-something girl looking at picture: Isn't he so hot with his nunchucks?”
20-something guy friend: Those are called “muttonchops.”
Bar
Connecticut
20-something girl looking at picture: Isn't he so hot with his nunchucks?”
20-something guy friend: Those are called “muttonchops.”
Bar
Connecticut
Frustrated waitress: There’s not enough Scotchguard in the world to help those sex cushions!
Rudyard’s
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Hales
Guy on cell: My rocket scientist shows up, she's drunk! But she's capable.
Cafe
Champaign, Illinois
Customer, bursting through door: Is there a gentleman here named “male libido?”
Bartender: Yep!
Prescott, Arizona
Overheard by: The Colinator
Jersey Shore fan: Can you put on Jersey Shore? It's the reunion!
Bartender: Sure, I was kind of hoping someone would ask.
Female drinker: Wow, I am going to watch this dumbass show in a bar, is this happening?
Jersey Shore fan: You love it, don't try to lie cause your boys are here.
Bartender: These people are crazy, and that's why we watch.
Bar patron: I cant believe I am watching the reunion show without having seen a full episode. You are right: I cant stop watching this. What the fuck? Is her name J-Lo?
Jersey Shore fan: J… Wow! She is awesome, snookie is my favorite. I wish I could be friends with her.
Bartender: You have enough slutty friends.
Bar
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Earnie Hustleton
Young college girl #1: How was your date last night?
Young college girl #2: Okay. I don't think I'm going out with him again, though.
Young college girl #1: Why?
Young college girl #2: He was weird. He asked me to quit texting while we were having dinner.
Young college girl #1: Rude!
Starbuck's
Fayetteville, Arkansas
(elastic snapping sound)
Woman in stall: And that was the sound of my outside panties!
Bathroom, Dive Bar
Ohio
Overheard by: Monika
Cute girl to suit: What are you drinking?
Suit: Absolut on the rocks.
Cute girl: I prefer Belvedere.
Suit: Are you trying to get a free drink?
Cute girl to bartender: May I please have a Chopin Martini, up with olives? (points to suit, then turns back to him) Go fuck yourself. (walks away)
Hotel Bar
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: arrc
Gay guy to another: Yeah, cuz there's nothing like listening to Americans talk about their feelings to let you know what's really going on in the world.
Starbucks
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Dude at bar: So wait, after her husband left her here by herself–completely shitfaced–she then fucked a total stranger in the bathroom?
Bartender: Yep.
Dude at bar: And then she came back out here bragging about getting banged in the ass?
Gay dude, sidling up: Sounds like an awesome night.
District Bar
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Big D
