Sometimes the Judgment of Solomon Backfires

Blonde female teen to friend: Here. I'll trade you her right boob for the left side of her crotch.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/362494227/shes-trying-to-cheat-you.html

Overheard by: I'm really glad I'm not her.

Posted on September 30, 2015
Body parts, Default, Friends, Girls, Offers and requests, Overheard in Minneapolis, Teens, Weirdness

Why They Only Buy Button-Down Shirts

Mother admonishing her child for sticking his head through the bars in a fence: You do not put your head through anything. Ever.

Disney World
Florida

Overheard by: Becca

Posted on September 22, 2015
Advice, Body parts, Default, Florida, Moms, Parenting, Tourist attractions

…I'm Saving That for Marriage.

Girlfriend: Ugh, I can't think about hot dogs or sausages when I eat them. I can't bare to think what body parts I'm eating.
Boyfriend: Oh, hush. Look at what else you eat.
Girlfriend: I know, but I like you! And I wouldn't eat your arm!

Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on August 28, 2015
Body parts, Couples, Feelings, Food, New Jersey, Weirdness

You Can Sell the Blood to Marilyn Manson for a Bundle.

Professor: Now, I want you to listen to what McCormack does with this last phrase. And then I want you to go slit your wrists. Because I know I do every time I hear this.

Peabody Conservatory
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Emo has nothing on opera

Posted on August 25, 2015
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Education, Feelings, Maryland, Music, Students, Teachers, Weirdness, Wishes

So of Course I'm Bummed That They'll All Burn in a Lake of Hellfire

Mormon girl: When I grow up, I want to celebrate Chanukah! I mean, I just like Jews. I like Jew food, Jew noses, Jew hair styles… Oh my gosh, I love those curly bangs! I just want to pull one and watch it go “sproinnnnng!”

IHOP
Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: I'm Jewish, but surprisingly NOT offended…

Posted on August 23, 2015
Body parts, Default, Feelings, Food, Girls, Hair, Religion, Restaurants, Utah

…Mine Just Tells Me to Burn Things.

Mother to teenage daughter: Are you sure you don't want anything?
Skinny teenage daughter: Nah. (shrugs) My uterus isn't happy.
(mother raises a quizzical eyebrow)
Skinny teenage daughter: It's all like: “hello, I'm a uterus, and I'm going to bloat my way through for awhile, and push Ms Stomach organ out through Ms Bellybutton.”
Mother: Oh.

Burger King
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: i just work here…