Lady: And as soon as the doctor said “stick out your tongue,” she knew her goose was cooked!
West Chester, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Theresa
Lady: And as soon as the doctor said “stick out your tongue,” she knew her goose was cooked!
West Chester, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Theresa
Teacher: What that show didn't tell you is that ferrets smell like dirty wet dog.
Seven-year-old girl: Well, you know you can get their scent glands removed.
Teacher: Yeah, but is that really good for them?
Seven-year-old girl: I think it's about the same as removing a dog's testicles.
Seattle, Washington
Loud, stoned, drunk guy on train: Dude, I totally saw Melissa pee standing up before.
Loud, stoned, drunk girl: That is impossible! Seriously, that doesn't even make any sense! You'd get piss all over your leg!
Loud, stoned, drunk guy: No way, I saw her just take one leg out of her pants and prop it up against a tree, and it just shot down! She didn't get any anywhere!
Loud, stoned, drunk girl: Do you even understand female anatomy?! It doesn't work the same way as you! We can't do that! Melissa didn't do that!
Loud, stoned, drunk guy: Dude, if you can't pee standing up, then you've just got a bendy vag.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Wizzbiff
Blonde female teen to friend: Here. I'll trade you her right boob for the left side of her crotch.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/362494227/shes-trying-to-cheat-you.html
Overheard by: I'm really glad I'm not her.
Mother admonishing her child for sticking his head through the bars in a fence: You do not put your head through anything. Ever.
Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: Becca
Girlfriend: Ugh, I can't think about hot dogs or sausages when I eat them. I can't bare to think what body parts I'm eating.
Boyfriend: Oh, hush. Look at what else you eat.
Girlfriend: I know, but I like you! And I wouldn't eat your arm!
Jersey City, New Jersey
Professor: Now, I want you to listen to what McCormack does with this last phrase. And then I want you to go slit your wrists. Because I know I do every time I hear this.
Peabody Conservatory
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Emo has nothing on opera
Mormon girl: When I grow up, I want to celebrate Chanukah! I mean, I just like Jews. I like Jew food, Jew noses, Jew hair styles… Oh my gosh, I love those curly bangs! I just want to pull one and watch it go “sproinnnnng!”
IHOP
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: I'm Jewish, but surprisingly NOT offended…
Mother to teenage daughter: Are you sure you don't want anything?
Skinny teenage daughter: Nah. (shrugs) My uterus isn't happy.
(mother raises a quizzical eyebrow)
Skinny teenage daughter: It's all like: “hello, I'm a uterus, and I'm going to bloat my way through for awhile, and push Ms Stomach organ out through Ms Bellybutton.”
Mother: Oh.
Burger King
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: i just work here…
Woman: Definitely. I had both feet in the door, but now it's just one foot in the door.
Man: I hate doors.
Bangkok
Thailand
Overheard by: Adair
