Body parts

Why Synonyms Were Invented

Crazy lady, noticing long line: Is this the line to urinate? I can not believe this is the urination line. Unbelievable! I can't wait this long to urinate. There is no way. I have kidney problems. I need to urinate now. I don't wanna cut in line. I'll just go in the men's room. (as she enters men's room) I am a woman coming in here. I can not wait in a long line to urinate.
(a few minutes later, to women in line, while coming out) See! Your line hasn't even moved!

Hamilton Mall, New Jersey

Overheard by: last in line

Along With “Old Too Soon” and “Smart Too Late”

Decked-out tarot card reader, eyes closed, acting all mystical: I'm getting the feeling of a friend, a female presence that seems to be around you quite often. I get this feeling, this strong feeling, that she tries to help you in certain ways but her help isn't the good kind. For some reason, a phrase keeps popping in my head. This one phrase.
Drunk seated hipster girl: What is it?
Tarot card reader: The words (dramatic pause) “party too hard.”

Alcove Gallery
Atlanta, Georgia

Memories

Student girl on phone: They made me drink loads of alcohol out of a massive bucket. It was beer and vodka all mixed together. Yeah, and then all the lads stripped off and started dancing on the tables, and they started smearing the curry on their naked bodies. It was awful, but I ended up going home with one of them, he's a rugby player.

Cambridge
England

Overheard by: Gemma

…While Making Waffles with the Other

Woman to man: I mean, you could have masturbated with one arm, come on.

UMass
Massachusetts

What Does Your First Job Feel Like, Alex?

Hipster girl to friend (laughing): I was gagging, and then it was all over my neck.

Queen West
Toronto
Canadia

It's the Same Thing with Using a Neti Pot

Professor: You'd probably say “no, I wouldn't do it,” but until you had a fly dropped in your nose, you wouldn't know.

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Even If It Does Have Perfect Pitch

Girl: I'm not gonna bend over and let you play my butt in front of other people!

Epcot
Florida

Overheard by: Pilbur

And Made Them Into a Necklace for You

Dad to daughters: I've stolen more bellybuttons than you can count.

Rochester, New York

Overheard by: Jude

I Must Now Go and Tell the World My Tale of Woe

Pained 20-something woman: Ouch! I hit myself in my already sore crotch with my overly heavy purse.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/07/leaving_women_everywhere_baffl.html

Overheard by: Dan

Remember, These Are the Guys Who Treat Our Nipples Like Radio Dials

Girl #1: I wonder if there are exercises to strengthen that.
Girl #2: I know. I tried to look into it once because I can't go down that far without gagging. Is that weird? I want skill tips.
Girl #1: I just use my hand a lot so I don't have to skit it down far.
Girl #2: Okay, so I think it's because I started out with not a lot of girth, but now guys are like, “you can squeeze harder.” And I'm like, “uuum…are you sure?” I feel like I”m going to break your fucking dick off.
Girl #1: Yeah. It makes it go faster. Dicks are resilient. Get violent.

Madison Children's Museum
Madison, Wisconsin

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