Lyle Thinks People Can Hear Him Over His Floor Buffer

Wal-Mart floor waxer: My grandma got bit twice on the leg. And they thought they were gonna have to amputate it. But then it magically healed.

Wal-Mart
Athens, Ohio

Overheard by: Lisa

Posted on February 13, 2009
Body parts, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Family ties, Malls, Ohio

My Diet Regimen: A Jerk for Breakfast, a Jerk for Lunch, and a Sensible Breakup

Slightly drunk friend: I hate Valentine's Day!
Slightly drunker friend: Me too. Anyway, so here's what I'm going to do: I'm just going to convince myself that I'm in love with him. That way, when he breaks my heart, I'll drop 20 pounds.

Volta Taverna
Oxford, Mississippi

Overheard by: that's the only diet i know…

Posted on February 10, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Body parts, Default, Feelings, Friends, Girls, Mississippi, Relationships

Hand Her a Magic Feather and She Can Fly, Though

Hipster girl to friend: Yeah, we were going to go to a bar last night, but, you know, Beth has awkward ears.

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Normal Ears?

Posted on February 1, 2009
Body parts, Default, Drinking & drunks, Florida, Girls, Hipsters, Weirdness

Then We Watched Killer Klowns from Outer Space

Her: Clown porn, clown porn, clown porn. You put that in my head.
Him: How did I put that in your head?
Her: You told me about it.
Him: No, I told you about midget porn.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/05/porn.html

Overheard by: b! x.

Posted on January 31, 2009
Body parts, Default, Girls, Guys, Overheard in PDX, Porn, Questions, Weirdness

Even If I Am 87% Synthetic

Overly dramatic English teacher: You will have the face you deserve when you are eighty. I will be beautiful.

AC Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina

Posted on January 29, 2009
Age and ageing, Body parts, Compliments, Default, School [Elem., Middle, & High], South Carolina, Teachers

Your Editors Have a Soft Spot for Girls Who Say “Suitors”

Slutty looking girl: I want to send a bulletin to all my male suitors: “you will not be getting into my pants by texting me and asking me to give you a back massage. The bum who told me god did a beautiful job making my legs this morning had a better chance.”

Ogilvie Train Station
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on January 29, 2009
Body parts, Clothes, Default, Girls, God, Illinois, Texting, Train

Does That Mean My Baby Is Gifted?

Woman to friend: What he has started doing now is picking his nose with his toe.

National Coney Island
Royal Oak, Michigan

Posted on January 26, 2009
Body parts, Default, Health & Hygiene, Michigan, Restaurants, Weirdness, Women

I Always Expect It to Be More Fun Than It Actually Is

Girl to friends: I've got visions of blowjobs dancing in my head!

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Holly

Posted on January 25, 2009
Body parts, Dancing, Default, Feelings, Georgia, Girls, Sex

Perfect for an Institution of Higher Learning

Extremely diabetic professor: Now that I have to get another artificial leg, I can be as tall as I want!

Math Department
University of Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Suzz

Posted on January 21, 2009
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Illinois, Maladies, Teachers, Weirdness

I Told My Dad It Was a Sports Injury. He's Never Been Prouder.

Emo boy: Matt! Tell her how you fucked up your face!
Matt: I was rubbing one out in the shower and when I came, my knees gave out and I hit my head on the faucet.
Emo girl (gasping and laughing hysterically): That is best thing I have ever heard!

Starbucks
New Mexico

Posted on January 20, 2009
Body parts, Default, Girls, Guys, Happiness, Health & Hygiene, Masturbation, New Mexico, Restaurants

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