Clothes

Guy to another: Why's he bother to wash his clothes, anyway, if he smells that bad and doesn't bother to bathe?

Laundromat
Catskill, New York

Overheard by: Amie

Female college student: Why are you wearing underwear? I don't wear underwear. I'm a dancer. You are not a dancer. What are you even doing here? You're not a real dancer. You're an elf. And you're going to wear panties like an elf.

Chicago, Illinois

Hobo to girls: Oh, ladies, I like the way your skirts move. (girls look disgusted) Sorry, I can't help it if I'm a lesbian.

Olympia, Washington

Overheard by: Sticking with pants

Man, indicating the used wedding dress he's wearing: This was the best $35 I've ever spent. I mean, I could have spent it on Jägermeister!

Old Railroad Square
Santa Rosa, California

Size 4 girl #1: I love H&M but it makes me feel so fat. I have to wear a size 6 or 8 when I shop here.
Size 4 girl #2: Yeah, and that vest makes you look like a lesbian.

H&M
Chicago, Illinois

Woman: I'll be at the bar tonight and I'll be all, “hey guys, I bought this shirt at Kohl's for five bucks! And I'm single! And you won't have to call me ever because I'm from Virginia!”

Raleigh, North Carolina

[Two 18-year-old girls are browsing a table full of random items for sale at a Christian thrift store at a local church.]Girl #1: This candle holder would probably feel great inside my pussy.
Girl #2, barely startled: Haha. Yeah.
Girl #1: Ooh, this shirt is nice!

Gothenburg
Sweden

Overheard by: Donny Boots

Sunday school teacher: We're going to play a fun game next! Does anybody want to guess what it is?
Five-year-old student: Take of our shirts and pants?
Sunday school teacher: No!

Sunday School Classroom
Fredericton
Canadia

Overheard by: Andrew

Customer: The last thing I want in my refrigerator is another pair of pantyhose!

Charlottesville, Virginia

(during a film in a movie theater)
Girl #1 (whispering): Ow, something's itching me–I think there's something in my bra. (gasps) Oh my god!
Girl #2: What is it!?
Girl #1: I just found a condom in my bra and I think it was from last night but I don't remember putting it there!

Ontario
Canadia