All I Could Say to Her Was, “Congratulations.”

Girl #1: So what do you think of her boyfriend?
Girl #2: I can see his underwear through his pants.

Tapas Teatro
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Underwear Moderator

Posted on August 13, 2015
Clothes, Default, Girls, Maryland, Questions, Relationships

You're That Guy Every Day.

Girlfriend: I'm gonna get a black wig and a skirt, and I'm putting body-glitter on you and doing your hair like you're in 90210 and you're going as Edward. It'll be like ironic.
Boyfriend: I'm gonna put some mayonnaise on my pants and go as that “jizzed in my pants” guy.
Girlfriend: No, you're not.

Gainesville, Florida

Posted on August 11, 2015
Clothes, Clothing, Couples, Cum, Florida, Food, Hair, TV shows

And What If It Took Pictures?

Gay Australian cowboy: I just didn't want his cat seeing me naked.

Calgary
Canadia

Posted on August 9, 2015
Animals, Canadia, Clothes, Foreigners, Queers, Weirdness, Wishes

If Rappers Had Existed in the 16th Century

Philosophy professor: A crisp cravat always gets me hot.

Wesleyan University
Bloomington, Illinois

Overheard by: ..Really?

Posted on August 8, 2015
Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Illinois, Sexuality, Teachers, Weirdness

Ooh, Stool Softener–Perfect!

Middle-aged matronly looking woman: Well, while we’re here I can get some of this stocking stuffer shit.

Walgreens
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on August 7, 2015
Clothes, Default, Etiquette, Gender issues, Illinois, Undies, Women

You Always Show Me Up, Peggy

Whiny-voiced 20-something: My period showed up two days early and ruined my weekend plans with that guy I was seeing.
20-something with baby: My period showed up two weeks late, stuck me with this, and ruined my life. Pass me one of those shirts in a medium?

Springfield, Illinois

Overheard by: Katie F

Posted on August 4, 2015
Clothes, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Illinois, Kids, Moms, Pregnancy

Suck His Toes and You’ll Be High for Days

Large black woman on cell: Girl! I’m tellin’ you, I don’t know where I gots them warts on my feets. But they nasty! I don’t want to give them to nobody else, so I brought me some lil’ socks, you know… Them cushy foots? Not like Earl, who goes barefoot all over the city with them mushroom funguses on his toes. His toenails be like baby powder! They all crumbly and shit.

Detroit Metro Airport
Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: Trying not to barf (and glad I wore socks)