Professor: How old are you?
Visiting high school student: Seventeen.
Professor: And you're not married? Well, you've come to the right place!
Freed-Hardeman University
Henderson, Tennessee
Overheard by: Lisa
Professor: How old are you?
Visiting high school student: Seventeen.
Professor: And you're not married? Well, you've come to the right place!
Freed-Hardeman University
Henderson, Tennessee
Overheard by: Lisa
Professor: Well, I'm not supposed to state my own political views. (pause) Ah, to hell with it, I'm just going to say it: Sarah Palin is a complete fucking disaster!
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Brittany
Weird emo girl: I've still got bruises from the first time she hit me with a wheelbarrow!
Bridgwater College
Somerset
England
Emphatic girl: Babies can't watch porn!
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: TARDIS Dyke
Sociology professor: Today, we'll be talking about sex.
(students mumble)
Sociology professor: I heard that. (pause) How much do I know about it? Well, I can tell you: less than my cheating ex-girlfriend.
University Classroom
Virginia
Overheard by: Nicole
Guy to friend, matter-of-factly: You know he’s just teaching there for the kielbasa.
Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota
Professor: “Annihilation.” I love this word. You will see it again.
Arcadia University
Glenside, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: disturbed student
Professor, about a book currently sold out at the campus bookstore: This book has been required in my class for years. All the upperclassmen have this book. Borrow it! (whispering) Steal it!
Point Park University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Blonde: … And then there was, like, this penis all up in my face, and I was like, ‘But I thought you were a girl…’
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Anna
Dude: You fail to see that the rhinoceros is not pleased that you've clogged the bathtub drain with jam and celery. She's quite angry with you. I mean, if you just shit out a canary, it's not going to want to play tonsil hockey.
Friend: How hard would it be to get you involuntarily committed to a mental institution?
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
