Compare and contrast

Girl on cell: His thing…it was like a big lamb sandwich!

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/07/we-call-it-beastilicious.html

Overheard by: aaron

Administrator (mumbling to herself): Maybe I should just fire everyone here. (opens a drawer) Oh, here's my spoon. Okay, maybe everyone can keep their jobs.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/431193022/its-my-special-spoon.html

Overheard by: spoon.

Stoner #1: Do you have telekinesis?
Stoner #2: No, but I got call-waiting and that three-way call thing.

McDonald’s
Escondido, California

Overheard by: DLo

Professor: And you thought I was some geeky wanker, going on about agriculture!

Eastern Michigan University

Girl #1: I can just ask Jay if I can borrow his truck.
Girl #2: Do you ever give him gas money?
Girl #1: No, I give him sex.
Girl #2: But gas is expensive…
Girl #1: And sex is expensive if you have to pay for it.

North Bay
Ontario
Canadia

Guy #1: Dude, how do you blow smoke rings!
Guy #2 jokingly: It is the same as sucking dick.
Guy #1: Oh, okay! (blows smoke rings effortlessly)
Guy #2: Do you need to tell me something, man?

Hookah Bar
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Dude: She fucks like a division one athlete. I swear, I take three shots of whiskey before I go to her place. I need to have the spins so I have any chance of lasting.

Ten Stone
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: johnny

Girl playing video game: Some girls just want to get married. I just want fire.

Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Kelson

Guy: My life is one giant erection.

Attleboro, Massachusetts

Crazy lady to group of girls: Well, there's us and then there's them. And when I was your age I said I was never gonna be like them. And look at me… Do I look anything like them?

Greenfield, Massachusetts