Crew member to friends: Oh, the gay cooks are nothing. I mean, yeah, they can have their feminine touches, but if you want real weird, you need Angela.
Friend: Angela? She sounds nice!
Crew member: She's head of security. She's two meters tall, and you need to take a step back before you can identify her as a woman.
Friend: Surely she's not that ugly?
Crew member: Oh look, there she is.
Friend: Oh my god!
Gent Jazz festival
Belgium
Psychology instructor: If you look at the castle in The Little Mermaid, you'll see there are some phallic subliminal messages…
Student in the back row: It's a giant penis castle!
Psychology Class, Northwestern University
Illinois
Little girl, pointing to picture of Jesus on card: Who's that?
Babysitter: Well, that's Jesus.
Little girl: Oh… He looks like a nice guy.
Bellevue, Washington
Girl #1, looking at picture: Oh my gosh! Look, the first aider is totally judging her. If I was passed out from crack, I would so not wanna be judged.
Girl #2: Oh, I know, totally!
Thailand
Gay sports fan to table of gay sports fans, while watching Packers game: So, are you a packer or a packee?
Washington, DC
Lecturer: People who are happy, hopeful, and relaxed… are a pain in the ass.
Auckland
New Zealand
Chick #1: That's the best episode of SpongeBob ever.
Chick #2: I knooow!
Chick #1: It's like an orgasm!
Chick #2: No. (pause) No, it's not.
Littleton, Colorado
Hobo sitting on sidewalk: Hey, can you spare some change?
Student: Sorry, man. I'm as broke as you right now.
Hobo: Grab a seat.
Guelph
Ontario
Canadia
Churchgoer to another: Did you fart? Something smells like buttermilk.
Methodist Church
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Nick
Barista: Those aren't dates, those are lesbians!
Dixon, California
Overheard by: Michelle
