Compare and contrast

Random guy: It's like I'm on the Pony Express or something…and I'm the pony!

Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Girl: Kelly from work just texted me.
Guy: She's the really nice one, right?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Who's the one who's not nice?
Girl: Everyone else.

Frederick, Maryland

Professor: One day you’ll wake up an old weathered hag, unless you’re Cher–she’ll just turn to dust one day when the sun hits her.

McDaniel College
Maryland

Sorority girl: Well, did you get spanked by the entire party? No! That was me! (does a victory dance)

San Diego State University
San Diego, California

Overheard by: oh, really?

20-something girl to another: You remind me a lot of my old boss. But she was older than you and she got hit by a dump truck.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Karen

Gay boy: … And I woke up and my room was filled with red buttons and ears of corn, then my comforter turned into a giant lake, and three purple rhinoceroses just like rose out of it! And–
Girlfriend #1: No, Christian, there is no such thing as rhinoceroses. The plural of “rhinoceros” is “rhinocerii”.
Girlfriend #2: Stacy… I don’t think that’s right… I think it may be “rhinos-“
Girlfriend #1: Courtney, that’s ridiculous, we’re being serious here…
Gay boy: Okay, guys! It doesn’t matter. Anyway, back to the story… The weirdest part is, after all that happened, I thought I liked girls…
Girlfriend #1 and girlfriend #2: Wow… That is strange…

Huntington Movie Theater
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Mo

Professor: So where does the blood go then?
Student: The heart?
Professor: Good answer, too bad it's wrong.

Gold Coast
Australia

Old man to another, looking at soup: I just feel like I'm getting ripped off by the French!

Grocery Store
Maryland

Overheard by: Nic

(around a D&D table)
Boom: Boom the Barbarian is going to swing his sword.
Walk-in kid: Dude, your character sheet says he’s a fighter.
Boom: Yeah. But his name is Boom the Barbarian.
Walk-in kid: That’s gay.
Boom: It won’t be gay when I boom all over your face.
Openly gay DM: Actually, it would.

Gaming Center
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Girl: A vagina is a delicate flower!
Guy: It's a fucking hole!

Bayonne, New Jersey