Compliments

Guy: I don't have a favorite person. (pause, then begrudgingly) Well, I guess my favorite person is her… (points at girlfriend)
Girlfriend, unenthusiastically: Well, gee.

Park Tavern
Jersey City, New Jersey

Girl, looking down her shirt: I can’t tell if that’s pork or a hickey.
Friend: You’re so awesome!

Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: Muffler

Girl: So if you won £100,000,000 on the lottery what would you do?
Guy: Settle some scores. There'd be a few guys from school who'd be going to work one day and suddenly find themselves being bundled into the back of a van with a black bag over their head.
Girl: Then flown out over the north Atlantic, tied up, thrown out of the plane?
Guy: I like the way you think. We should have kids.
Girl: Nah, to get into my pants you'll need to do better than that. £2,000 of jewelery would do it. (cackles hysterically)

London
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Gay guy #1, walking down the street: Oh, this place is cute. Your parents should stay here when they visit.
Gay guy #2: That's a funeral home.

Market Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Ray

Man #1, watching rhino: Damn, it's huge.
Man #2: Lucky bastard.

San Diego Zoo
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Nikki

Dude: You have ovaries of steel.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Impatient father to 5-year-old girl in toilet stall: Mary, hurry up, what are you doing in there?
Mary: I was just thinking about how great I am.

Men's Room, Airport
Fort Myers, Florida

Girl to friends: Well, he's really nice, but I'm not sure if he'd like destroying the babies.

Oxford
England

Overheard by: HERTFORD

Teacher to girl: I like your shirt!
Girl: Oh, yeah, but it's from a show, so I'm not, like, just wearing a shirt… randomly or whatever.

Boulder, Colorado

Guy with girl #1, yelling: Oh, hey! How's it going? I love your haircut!
Guy with girl #2, walking in opposite direction: Thank you.
Guy #1: Thank you!
Guy #2: You're welcome.
Guy #1: I love you!
Guy #2: I love you, too.

Olympia, Washington