Prof: Do you think that kicking a pregnant woman in the stomach was wrong?
Student: Ummmm… I’m not certain.
Prof: Do you think that what he did was a crime?
[Student pauses for nearly 30 seconds.]Student #2: Dude, he kicked a baby.
Seton Hall Law
Newark, New Jersey
White trash woman on cell: Yeah, she OD'ed, right? I just got out of jail for murder. “Your mom died of overdose” is what she told her. You need to stop telling people all this, I could get locked up for a long time. You told Heather and everybody, she knew all about what I did. But…I don't know, she said to call her. She's at her house, I guess. Look, you don't do shitty things to people that are there for you, you do shitty things to people that are not there for you.
Computer Science Department
Ohio State University
Overheard by: Now Heather and I are both in on the secret
Woman: You should never kill people, especially if you’re poor!
Halifax
Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: there goes my plan
Dude: But he fucked my mom!
Friend: Well, you did steal his dog.
Dude: Yeah, I guess.
Flea Market
Tennessee
Overheard by: Mouse
Guy: So you still living in Yeoville?
Girl: Yeah. I love it. I've got great rent. And last time I checked crime stats, our house break-ins were way lower than other places.
Johannesburg
South Africa
Overheard by: Kingmo!
American girl: I get really emotional when I'm in church. I feel like I don't deserve to be there.
Brazilian girl: That's because you deserve to be in prison.
Nashville, Tennessee
Boy: I should be a rent-a-cop.
Girl #1, laughing: You'd be the least believable rent-a-cop ever.
Girl #2: Yeah, they might mistake you for a gay stripper.
Tempe, Arizona
Ethics professor: Killing drug dealers is okay, but killing priests is wrong. Wait, I may have that backwards…
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Goth lolita girl: I'm sensing some copyright violations in your aura.
Emo guy: Nuh-uh!
Chatswood Station
Sydney
Australia
Young Asian cop easing old Asian man out of police car: My first day on the beat and already I'm finding out about and busting illegal Mahjong parlors! I didn't know they existed!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McF
