Guy #1 (after guy #2 leaves): Man, I hate him so much.
Girl: What? Why?
Guy #1: Ever since he fell out that window and almost died and shit, girls have been all over him. He's a goddam womanizer.
Girl: He is pretty cute.
Houston, Texas
Guy #1 (after guy #2 leaves): Man, I hate him so much.
Girl: What? Why?
Guy #1: Ever since he fell out that window and almost died and shit, girls have been all over him. He's a goddam womanizer.
Girl: He is pretty cute.
Houston, Texas
20-something suit on cell (angrily): But mom, you don't understand! Everyone I know is already on the folk dancing team!
Brigham Young University
Provo, Utah
Subway musician to friend: That’s great! Now if only there was a cum-stained dress!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Terry B
Druggie talking about Italy: There were dicks coming out the walls everywhere!
Maine
Overheard by: abbitt the rabbitt
Daughter: Mommy, mommy, that dress makes you look sixteen years younger!
[Later]Daughter: Mommy, if you were stranded in the desert without any water, what would you do?
Mother: [No response].
Daughter: [to little sister] I would eat my own blood.
Old Navy
Promenade Mall, California
Overheard by: Claustrophobic
Guy #1: God, that burns! Chlamydia’s a bitch! You ever get chlamydia?
Guy #2: Nah, man. I don’t fuck sluts.
Guy #1: Well, I do!
College Park, Maryland
Girl: Ryan, if you had a vagina, what would she wear?
Boy: She? What if I had a male vagina?
Boy #2: Oh, he would be so sassy!
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: Livi
Woman with a house that is way overdecorated for Christmas: Oh look at that… Nice nativity. Jesus ain't got nothin' on us bitches!
Amarillo, Texas
Little boy: Mom! Look! An ant!
Mother (pulling little boy by the arm): Come on, sweetie, there will be ants at school.
Burlington, Vermont
Little girl sitting in shopping cart to mother: I love you more than the car! That's a lot,right, mommy? (thinks a while) More than the lights, too!
Wal-Mart
Weslaco,Texas
Overheard by: I love Mommy too
