I Warned Him That Jumping While Dark Was a Felony in These Parts

Yuppie: So then this guy jumped out wearing a ski mask and at first I laughed, but then I realized he was black!

Goshen, Indiana

Overheard by: Dej

Posted on June 12, 2020
Clothes, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Indiana, Race, Yuppies

Could You Leave Me Alone with This for a Few Minutes?

Drunk man to man holding rolled-up newspaper: There's a kind of phallic-ness about it, a sort of masculine quality…

The Ship Inn, Southbank
Brisbane
Australia

Posted on June 11, 2020
Australia, Compare and contrast, Default, Drunks, Gender issues, Guys, Penis

Unless It’s a Naughty Nurse

Stoned frat boy: I have this aversion with talking to dentists… or really anyone who wants to help me with my general health.

SUNY Geneseo
New York

Overheard by: Jeni

Posted on June 10, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Frat boy types, Health & Hygiene, New York, Stoners, Weirdness

And You Carried 'em in Your Wallet Until They Turned to Powder

Wife to husband: She said all they did Saturday night was go to the grocery store around 11:00 pm. And looked at all the condoms. She said that she didn't realize there were so many different kinds: red ones, black ones, ribbed, lubed, etc.
Gay guy at next table, overhearing: Jeez… I can remember when they only came in regular and mint flavored.

Restaurant
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: A. Nonymous

Posted on June 9, 2020
Default

The Large Group Ones Are a Logistical Nightmare

Peer-taught health class leader: Small group condom practice! Wooot!

Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: nyssa

Posted on June 6, 2020
Class, Condoms, Default, Education, Oregon, Students, Words

The More Absurd It Is, the Better. Like Christianity

Gym teacher, during stretches: If you do it this way, it makes it easier and also more challenging.

Henry Wise Wood High School
Calgary
Canadia

Posted on June 4, 2020
Advice, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Guys, Idiots, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Stupidity, Teachers, Words

Without Malls, Where Would We Take Our Children to Beat Them?

black lady buying clothes at counter while her little girl (who looks about 5 years old) runs around store pulling clothes off their hangers…
Little girl: "damn mama, what taking you so long?"
Mother looks up to see her unruly child knocking merchandise onto the floor. She scowls and folds her arms across her chest. At the top of her lungs mother yells:
"girl, what is wrong wit you? Is you stupid?"

Shopping Mall in Chicago, IL

Overheard by: Blondie

Posted on June 2, 2020
Default

I'm Pretty Sure Steve Urkel Had a Gas-Mask Bong

Teen girl: Mom, guess what he got me for an early Christmas present?
Mother: What, honey?
Teen girl: A gas-mask bong–like in that movie Knocked Up. And it's purple!
Mother: Jeez, your dork-o-meter is in the red.

MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on May 29, 2020
Default, Family ties, Georgia, Girls, Moms, Movies, Questions, Teens, Train, Women

Case in Point

Student: Well, sometimes you ask questions that have answers that might not be the answer you are looking for!
Professor: Are you calling me fat?

Michigan State University, Michigan

Posted on May 29, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Default, Diet & weight, Michigan, Questions, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

But All You Really Need Is Some Concealer and a Dream

Girl #1: So when is that thing you guys are doing?
Girl #2: Oh my god! You have to go! We're all going to get naked and walk around campus all day.
Girl #1: I honestly would, but I have tattoos in some really unconventional places.
Girl #2: Oh, I understand totally.

Chem Lab, William and Mary
Williamsburg, Virginia

Posted on May 25, 2020
Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, Questions, Tattoos, Virginia

Default