(the road is closed for Chinese New Year parade)
Bus driver: Folks, we’ll be alright. We’re going to take a right on Sansome, a left on Broadway, and a left on Stockton. We’ll rejoin the original route at Stockton and Sacramento. Don’t worry. Everything will be alright. As long as I still get paid, it’s okay.
San Francisco, California
30-something white lady: I just shove it down my pants. But it's not beer, it's Captain Morgan!
BART Escalator
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Hott Bi Luv
[Two 20-something guys are staring at Colleen Moore’s ornate fairy castle dollhouse.]Guy #1: Oh, man.
Guy #2: No man on earth could have ever kept this woman happy.
Museum of Science and Industry
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Joan
(goth girl walks by two high school girls)
Girl #1: What is that?!
Girl #2: She's a goth.
Girl #1: Whats a goth?
Girl #2: You know, people who wear black and lots of makeup and listen to sad music.
Girl #1: Ohhhh, that's what they're called. I just call them people who need Jesus.
Albany, New York
Six-year-old boy to brother: You know who'll save you? Abraham Lincoln. Too bad he's dead now. He'll rise from the dead! And raise chickens! His chicken powers can't save you now!
Baltimore, Maryland
Gay guy #1: So does he have a boyfriend?
Gay guy #2: Yes.
Gay guy #1: Is he easy to kill?
Gay guy #2: Yes.
Seattle, Washington
Female flight attendant on cell: She was the ugliest woman I had ever seen in my life! But I swear she was my guardian angel. (sighs)
Seatac airport
Seattle, Washington
Girl, after US history exam: How did you do on the essays?
Serious boy: Well, I drew hand turkeys on three pages of the answer booklet, and on the fourth I drew a picture of Samuel Glompers riding a tortoise while holding a marble cake.
High School Gymnasium
West Palm Beach, Florida
Little girl to dad: Daddy?
Dad: Yes?
Little girl: Why can't brothers and sisters get married?
Toronto
Canadia
