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Asian teenage girl: Wait, so did Jesus ejaculate wine?

Starbucks
Red Bank, New Jersey

20-something woman to friends: He was putting sunscreen on his dick and got a boner!

Plutos Restaurant
Palo Alto, California

Confused tourist lady, looking at anime convention kids in costume: Excuse me? Do you know what all of this is about?
Local: Yeah, the whack-job convention is in town.
Confused tourist lady: The…the…”whack-job” convention? (looks at costumes) Whack-jobs?
Local: (smacks forehead and turns away)

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Sarah Boyd

Loud high school chick in back of the bus: Remember when Amanda was wearing that skirt and she farted? It sounded like she dropped a fucking bomb! Wheeee-boom! Everyone applauded, it was that fucking cool.

Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: bitingontinfoil

English professor: Now don't think you're going to be just one big solid bloc of female voting energy because I won't stand for that.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Girl on phone: No, no, he's not bad news; he's just really tall.

Boulder, Colorado

High school psychology teacher: As humans, we all walk around on two legs. We're all pedophiles.

Michigan

Overheard by: Did you mean

Man in stall on cell: Hey! It's me, do you want to talk dirty? (pause) Oh, okay. I'll let you watch your show.

Coral Springs, Florida

Little girl in stall with dad: You're silly! This is silly!
Dad, peeing: Nothing is silly in here.
Girl: That's silly. This is silly. Stop.

Men's Bathroom
Hendersonville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Tanner

Young woman #1: How much time do I waste studying that I could be working out?
Young woman #2: I'd rather be skinny than smart.

Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts