Professor, talking about Meatless Tuesdays during WWI: And what would not eating meat save?
Genius (excitedly): Bullets!
Professor: Um, no.
Genius: By not having to shoot the animals.
History Class, Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia
Overheard by: be CNU
Teenage cart boy on cell: I'm at GIANT right now. I just have to go home and take a shit and I'll be fine.
GIANT
Lehighton, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Missy
Professor about poem A Wife's Lament: The real issue we are dealing with with this woman is how many guys are involved and in what kinds of positions.
Univsersity of Colorado, Denver
Asian #1: So do you guys eat a lot of Mongolian beef and shit?
Asian #2: Dude! I'm Korean!
(later)
Asian #2: Do you understand everything in those anime movies?
Asian #1: I'm not Japanese! Now I don't feel so bad.
Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia
Guy #1: You want to come hang out at my grandparents' with me?
Guy #2: That's alright. I don't like hanging out with grandparents. They're always dying and shit.
Gastown
Vancouver
Canadia
American tourist: Where's north here?
Local Swedish friend: (points north)
American tourist: It seems north changes everywhere I go, in Hungary it was that way (points), in Aspen it was that way (points) and now in Sweden it's that way (points).
(Swede stares in disbelief)
Stockholm
Sweden
Girl: My mom is never going to let me go on a field trip again.
Boy #1: Why?
Girl: I left my jacket at the museum.
Boy #2: Wanna know what I left at the museum? My dignity. My dignity and my pride.
BART
San Francisco, California
Guy to brunette: Yo, tell your friend she's beautiful.
Brunette, about hot redhead: Oh, don't worry, she knows.
Grasshopper On The Green
New Jersey
Tourist #1: Do you think we should eat Mexican or Italian?
Tourist #2: Mexican is indigenous to the culture of Puerto Rico. Let's eat that…
San Juan
Puerto Rico
Chemistry teacher: We've been experimenting with butane for the last three periods and I'm a little high right now.
Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee
