Professor, throwing exams on desk the day after taking them: I graded all of these. I want applause.
(class applauds)
UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Professor, throwing exams on desk the day after taking them: I graded all of these. I want applause.
(class applauds)
UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Excited hipster guy on cell: Dude, you just missed Wyclef Jean! He was fucking awesome! He dry-humped me and everything!
Voodoo Music Fest
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Eliza
Elderly woman: Oh! That's a lot of wood up there…
Bowling Alley
Waterford, Michigan
Girl, getting wash and cut: Then I was walking around for a few months without an elbow.
Stylist: Wow!
Girl: So finally in July they put my elbow back in.
Stylist: Well, that's good.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: porkchop on a stick
Sorority girl #1: I may as well go around and sleep with all the people everyone thinks I'm sleeping with…
Sorority girl #2: I would *so* not judge you for that.
Bryant University
Smithfield, Rhode Island
History professor, lecturing on the early 1900s: I mean, the problem of being the only person with a telephone is, well, who you gonna call?
Class, as one: Ghostbusters!
History professor: You kids scare me.
CU
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: They know their history, alright
Teen girl to friend: She doesn't even know what she wants! She just likes to text Scott because it makes her feel pretty.
Forever 21
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Birthday girl: Not to be mean, but I'm kind of glad Jeff* can't come to my birthday party. Now I can invite Kelly*.
Friend: Why couldn't you before? Not enough seats?
Birthday girl (long pause): No. Because Jeff's brother got her sister pregnant.
Friend: Oh, yeah.
University of Notre Dame
Notre Dame, Indiana
Overheard by: iz
20-something woman: I mean I don't drink that much, and I'm not even pregnant…
Commerce, Missouri
Overheard by: Cullen
Friend #1: Now all we need is a transvestite cop.
Friend #2: Don't worry, we have Katie!
Los Angeles, California
