3rd grade girl, about essay: I am writing about taking a vacation to heaven!
Teacher: Okay, but why don't you pick a place you can actually go on vacation? You can't really just visit heaven.
3rd grade boy: Yes you can! I went to heaven once to visit my aunt!
Auburn, Alabama
Teen on cell: If you can flip it, you deserve to flip it. If it's flippable, I'm flippin' it.
Grand River Avenue
Michigan
Professor: Say that you were to walk into class, and I was wearing…a red thong.
(students laugh) I'm not done. I also have sequins on my nipples–and my hair is in a red Mohawk. Half of you would turn around and walk out. The other half would think, “Eh, I can always drop the class.”
Santa Rosa Junior College
Santa Rosa, California
Mom: I don't know what I should get for him. He likes video games and that kind of stuff. I got him a GameCube last year and he loves it.
Five-year-old child (looks away from game display, shocked): But you told me Santa got me the GameCube!
Best Buy
Seattle, Washington
Nerdy philosophy professor: The word that comes to mind when I think about grading multiple-choice tests is 'bloodbath'.
Catholic University
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Ditto.
20-something guy: Why are you so concerned about this?
20-something girl: No, seriously. It will split your corneas in half.
20-something guy: Wow, I hadn't thought about that.
St. Paul, Minnesota
Dude #1: Dude, are you still drunk?
Dude #2: Maybe a little, how could you tell?
Dude #1: You smell like beer, weed, and hooker spit!
Lecture Hall
University of Tennessee
Overheard by: bluecollarbelle
Blonde girl: "why don't you just take the whole jaeger shot?"
Blonde girl friend: "see this color? It's like a black man, I can't take it all!"
Lodo's Bar & Grill, Denver, CO
Overheard by: c.love
Guy on cell: I don't think we'll be in a bar, considering what we'll be wearing and that we'll be covered in feathers.
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Guy: If someone was legally blind, it would be really hard for them to see in here.
Revenge of the Mummy ride, Universal Studios
Orlando, Florida
