Lady to fellow Disney-goer: And then he put aftershave on it, and he ended up in the hospital.

Epcot's World Showcase
Disney World, Florida

Sorority girl #1: It's not even like a brothel, because men can't even live together either.
Sorority girl #2: Oh, sororities are like that in California.

West Campus
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Will

Man #1: Dude, all the really good Hawaiian weed taste like rat piss.
Man #2: Oh, yeah. I know.

Ronkonkoma, New York

Overheard by: Spooky K

30-something guy, far too drunk to walk, kneeling in front of pub bar, waving £20 note: Can I have… (several seconds of mumbling) a pint.
Barmaid: I can't serve you.
30-something guy: Why not?
Barmaid: Because you can't talk properly, you can't stand up, you look like you might wet yourself, and you sound like you've had a stroke.
30-something guy: Can I have a pint?
Barmaid: Fuck's sake… I can't serve you.
30-something guy: Why not?
Barmaid: No… I can't serve *you*.
30-something guy: All I want is another pint…
Barmaid, sighing: Get the fucking hint… I can't serve *you*.
30-something guy's friend, taking his money: He'll have a pint.
Barmaid: No problem. (pours pint and gives it to 30-something guy's friend, who hands it to 30-something guy)

Coventry
England

Overheard by: Bleep