You Think They're Gay?

Girl drinking outside: It's just, like, I pay rent to live here, I don't want his semen and her little vagina juices everywhere!
Guy drinking outside: I don't think those guys walking by wanted to hear that.

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Guy walking by

Posted on August 20, 2009
Cum, Drinking & drunks, Girls, Guys, Michigan, Money, Vagina, Weirdness, Wishes

What Do You Think We Pray For?

Stoner girl #1: What happens at Christian retreats?
Stoner girl #2: You pray and reflect.
Stoner girl #1: Oh. So no beer, then?
Stoner girl #2: Definitely no beer.

Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on August 18, 2009
Christianity, Drinking & drunks, Girls, New Jersey, Questions, Stoners

A Problem I Can Solve Simply by Getting a Drunker ID

Drunk college dude, explaining how he got kicked out of a club: They looked at my ID, then they looked at my face. My face was not as sober as my ID.

Metro, Orange Line
Washington, DC

Overheard by: funniest Metro ride ever

Posted on July 29, 2009
Body parts, Compare and contrast, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Students, Train, Washington, DC

I Was Gonna Give Up the Baby Anyway

Teenage girl #1 in high school bathroom: I'm excited that I'm pregnant, it just sucks that I'll have to give up drinking.
Teenage girl #2: Why? I didn't!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: not surprised

Posted on July 6, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Drinking & drunks, Family ties, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Indiana, Parenting, Questions, Teens

Further Evidence That Missouri Loves Company

Middle aged man power-walking with friend in the park: I wake up, I drink, and I smoke. Then, I go to work, come home, and drink and then smoke. You wanna know why I do this?
Friend: Why?
Middle aged man: I'm fucking depressed, that's why. So I wake up and do it all over again the next day.

Forest Park
St. Louis, Missouri

Posted on July 2, 2009
Drinking & drunks, Friends, Jobs & Careers, Maladies, Missouri, Questions, Smoking

…After What Happened Last Time?

Sober sorostitute with heavy smoker's voice: Like o-m-g, I just decided on my Halloween costume!
Drunk sorostitute, stamping feet: Oh my god! What?! What what what?
Sober sorostitute: Wait for it…wait for it… Little ho peep!
Drunk sorostitute: Can we have sex with the little ho sheep?

Duke University
Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: Disgusted

Posted on June 30, 2009
Animals, Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, North Carolina, Questions, Sex, Sorority types, Weirdness

Why Are We Playing Hangman in Class, Anyway?

Criminal justice teacher: What do you mean “it doesn't fit”?
Student: The word doesn't match the blanks.
Criminal justice teacher: Hm…I probably wasn't sober when I made this.

Gilbert, Arizona

Overheard by: she's not kidding