Criminal justice teacher: What do you mean “it doesn't fit”?
Student: The word doesn't match the blanks.
Criminal justice teacher: Hm…I probably wasn't sober when I made this.
Gilbert, Arizona
Overheard by: she's not kidding
Criminal justice teacher: What do you mean “it doesn't fit”?
Student: The word doesn't match the blanks.
Criminal justice teacher: Hm…I probably wasn't sober when I made this.
Gilbert, Arizona
Overheard by: she's not kidding
Chick: Has anyone seen the bottle of fake blood?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
(drunk boy pulls out diamond ring and offers it to drunk girl)
Drunk girl: Fuck you, Tim! You fell asleep at dinner!
London
England
Overheard by: Tequila Sally
Drunk guy walking past mirror: Man, sometimes I see myself, and I make myself horny.
Hanover College
Hanover, Indiana
Overheard by: Whitney
Asian teenage girl: Wait, so did Jesus ejaculate wine?
Starbucks
Red Bank, New Jersey
Afternoon drunk: Nah, man, it's 32. That's freezing. It don't get lower than that.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: colder that him, apparently
Loud fat man on bus: When I first found out I had diabetes, I had my wife go out and buy me a big case of pudding cups. I opened each one up and poured them into a tub with some milk.
Friend: Oh?
Loud fat man on bus: My mother-in-law didn't believe I could eat it, but I sat down in front of her and drank the whole thing, just to spite her.
Portland, Oregon
Drunk teenage boy: Heyyy, ssssuuuuupp, buddd… (stumbles away)
Sober teenage boy: I guess he's too drunk to notice that we're not friends.
Red Bank, New Jersey
Young mother, in baby-talk: Aren't you excited to meet grandma and grandpa at the park? Do you think they're sad and lonely there waiting for us?
Toddler son: Noooo, they're drinking.
Mother, still in baby-talk: You think they're drinking?
St Charles Streetcar
New Orleans, Louisiana
Coed #1: Jill, hi! I haven't seen you for like, a year!
Coed #2, smoking cigarette and clutching Red Bull: I know! I quit drinking!
WSC Campus
Wayne, Nebraska
