I Swear On This Stack of Flannel Shirts

Drunk sorority girl: I swear, I'm not gay! I just crush a lot.

Cornell University
Ithaca, New York

Posted on September 19, 2020
Default, Drunks, New York, Sexuality, Sorority types

Later, They’d Vomit Up Quarters

Drunk girl #1: I’m Wells Fargo!
Drunk girl #2: Really? I’m Wells Fargo, too!
(they gleefully skip off together)

Pearl St Mall
Boulder, Colorado

Posted on September 7, 2020
Colorado, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Girls, History, Malls, Movies

That Consists Mostly of Panting and Licking Strangers

Drunk girl: You know, me and Jared are a lot alike. We both kind of throw ourselves out there with the same kind of desperation, only mine… is a more quiet desperation.

University of Idaho
Idaho

Overheard by: Funnygirl

Posted on August 31, 2020
Bringing it back to you, Colleges & Universities, Drunks, Girls, Idaho, Sex

Weren't We Fencing?

30-something male drunk: You're not my mother!
20-something female drunk: I'm not your mother. I'm just telling you that it's not okay to grunt and lunge at people.

Pacifica, California

Overheard by: Slightly

Posted on August 29, 2020
Advice, California, Default, Drunks, Etiquette, Family ties, Girls, Guys

Let Me Guess– Rainbow Sherbert?

Drunken girl: I don't know, Luke, I'm just sick and tired of people who want to sit in their rooms and watch YouTube videos and eat sherbert.
Drunken guy: You don't like sherbert?
Drunken girl: No, I like it… but only with adventure.
Drunken guy: I wanted adventure. I feel kind of bad, though, that I didn't experiment enough.
Drunken girl: With what?
Drunken guy: With guys. I don't know, it just hasn't happened.
Drunken girl: Well, don't rush it. If you let it happen naturally, it will.
Drunken guy: But what if I don't like it? And say, “No, this isn't for me”?
Drunken girl: Let's go eat something.
Drunken guy: Sherbert?
Drunken girl: Yep.

Claremont, California

Posted on August 10, 2020
California, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Feelings, Food, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Internet, Questions, Wishes

A New Grammar Book by Tyra Banks

Drunk girl in bar: Dammit, bitch! Talk legible!

Memphis, Tennessee

Overheard by: James

Posted on August 8, 2020
Bars & Clubs, Drunks, Girls, Insults, Language barrier, Tennessee

Guy: Mind! I Said I Wouldn’t Mind!

Drunk girl on cell: What? … I’m so drunk I can’t even hear… I want to do naughty things to you… So, you’re saying if I were to lick and suck you, you wouldn’t care?

Fiddler’s Green
Winter Park, Florida

Overheard by: grossed out because she’s not even cute

Posted on July 13, 2020
BJs, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Florida, Girls, On the phone, Sex

The Thin Line Between Martha Stewart and MTV Backup Dancers

Restaurant server on smoke break: How were the ladies at the bar?
Drunk man: Those bitches were hot. And I mean “bitches” in the best possible way.
Server: When I say “bitches,” I mean “hoes.”

Plano, Texas