Family ties

Mother to eight-year-old: Tommy*, get in the picture with your aunt Linda!*
Tommy*: You're hungover!
Mother: Just get in and smile.
Tommy*, indignant: She's not related to me! In what way, shape or form does she share my blood?!

Havre de Grace, Maryland

20-something on cell: So I said to her, “I don't care if you are my stepsister: if you shaved it, I want to see it!”

San Francisco, California

Angry girl to group of male friends: You can sleep with my mother, you can kill my father, you can burn down my house, but if you fuck with my bike…

Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Veli Velo

Little girl, trying to find her mom: Mommy! Mom! Mom!
(she finds her)
Little girl: Hey, mom!
Mom, totally deadpan: I'm not your mom, you should go find your real mom.
Little girl: Mom…?
Mom: I am not your mom. It's time you go find your real mom.
Little girl: But… Mom…
Mom: Fine, what?!

Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: Rachel

Ghetto girl on phone, angrily: Yeah, well, I bet he's just lollygagging somewhere with his grandma!

22 Bus
Boston, Massachusetts

Young teen girl: So he fucked both your mums, and that's how you two are related?
Boy #1: Yeah.
Boy #2: But he didn't start fucking my mum till after she had me.

Bus
Wollongong
Australia

Overheard by: definately not related

Teen girl: My dad bought me an iPhone but he took it away when he found my pot. I'm so pissed.
Emo teen: You live in Portland. Either you're gay, you enjoy molesting children, or you do every drug available for free. Or all of the above. What the hell does he expect of you?

Portland, Oregon

Girl, flabbergasted: Everyone's birthday is in March?
Boyfriend: Yeah. My grandma's birthday is in June. It's the only time she really has sex. It's her birthday present.

Jersey City, New Jersey

Confused elderly female patient, trying to punch staff: If you kill me, my family will hunt you down and take all your money!
Nurse's aide, trying to clean up patient: Yeah, we hear that a lot.

Hospital
Burlingame, California

Suave dude on cell: Shut up, grandma! Your fridge isn't that heavy!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/369466341/lets-drop-it-on-you-to-be-sure.html

Overheard by: at least I'm nice to my grandma