Teen girl: My dad bought me an iPhone but he took it away when he found my pot. I'm so pissed.
Emo teen: You live in Portland. Either you're gay, you enjoy molesting children, or you do every drug available for free. Or all of the above. What the hell does he expect of you?
Portland, Oregon
Girl, flabbergasted: Everyone's birthday is in March?
Boyfriend: Yeah. My grandma's birthday is in June. It's the only time she really has sex. It's her birthday present.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Confused elderly female patient, trying to punch staff: If you kill me, my family will hunt you down and take all your money!
Nurse's aide, trying to clean up patient: Yeah, we hear that a lot.
Hospital
Burlingame, California
Suave dude on cell: Shut up, grandma! Your fridge isn't that heavy!
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/369466341/lets-drop-it-on-you-to-be-sure.html
Overheard by: at least I'm nice to my grandma
Girl #1: So my two-year-old cousin… You know, the one who laughs at me, and threw his bottle and his book at me?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: Well, this one time he like pushed me down on the floor, and like… licked my face.
Girl #2: Wow! Your two-year-old cousin is like a combination of all the boys you've met here.
London
Ontario
Canadia
Man #1: I hate football.
Man #2: Me too.
Man #1: If my son ever wants to play football, I'll disown him.
Man #2: Me too.
(long pause)
Man #2: My dad loves football.
Man #1: Mine too.
Gold's Gym
Orem, Utah
Overheard by: Weskimo
Mother to daughter: Just remember, honey, next time you borrow my dildo, don't get blood on it.
Leeds
England
Restaurant waitress, ranting: If my family weren't here I would take my shoe off and stab you in the eye with it.
Saugus, Massachusetts
Chipper guy: Everyone in my family, except for my little brother I think, is suicidal. They're all just like “blah blah blah… kill myself.”
Florida Atlantic University
Overheard by: Kiwi
College student to roommate: My family heirloom is a neon beer light. And a coffee mug.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Larissa
