Guy: My mom hit my dad with a frying pan. He doesn't have a cheek anymore. It's been entirely restructured. She used to beat the shit out of him! It was so funny. But when he drunk–that's when she'd get a beating.
Girl, sympathetically: Your family…
Guy: Oh, I love my family! I don't know what I'd do without them!
Neptune City, New Jersey
Serious Asian dude: I don't like angry soul food bitches. I like happy soul food bitches.
Maryland
Overheard by: Neither nor
Dude on cell: Hey, all I know is lonely men love chicken…
Illinois Wesleyan University
Illinois
Overheard by: martha
Girlfriend on packed, stopped train: I'm bored. Tell me a story.
Boyfriend: I remember the first time I saw you…you were crying…sitting outside the abortion clinic. I gave you my hankie.
Yellow Train
Washington, DC
Overheard by: entertained next to them
Punk girl: So we started fucking on a regular basis, right? And then I realized that I may actually like the guy!
University Campus
Austin, Texas
Girl on phone: Yes, I know you love me, but I'm not going to keep coming to the house you share with your wife to give you blowjobs whenever you want! (pause) You need to find somewhere else for us to do it.
London
England
Teenage girl: It's like every time we get close he backs out. I can't help to think it has something to do with his penis size.
Friend: Next time just throw him over your shoulder and take him back to the cave.
Santee, California
Overheard by: Story of my life
Film studies professor, after screening Eadweard Muybridge, in which animals and naked humans walk together: So what did you all think?
Student #1: I liked the tiger!
Student #2: I thought the way the elephant was filmed was fantastic.
Film studies professor: Yeah…I just like all the naked ladies.
Concordia University
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: In a class of 100 and disgusted
Friend #1: God! Old people get so pissy when they don't get their obituaries on time.
Friend #2: Why?
Friend #1: Because they want to know which of their friends has died that week.
Friend #2: Oh, so it's like Facebook for the elderly!
Memorial Hospital
Sudbury
Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Dani
