Sometimes Your Words Just Flow Out, Uncontrollably

Little girl: Is there diarrhea here? I love diarrhea!
Mother: I have no idea what you're talking about, but it doesn't sound good, so stop it.

Target
Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Amused Employee

Posted on September 14, 2015
Default, Feelings, Girls, Kids, Moms, New Jersey, Offers and requests, Poop, Stores, Weirdness, Women

If You Need a Longer Break, “Fluffy Pink Clouds 101” Is Right Down the Hall

Linda: Ugh, this class is so depressing!
Professor: Let’s all take ten seconds to think about baby lambs to make Linda feel happy. [pause] Okay, back to Terri Schiavo!

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Posted on September 14, 2015
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Education, Feelings, Girls, Gripes, Insults, New York, Offers and requests, Philosophy, Teachers

…I'm Saving That for Marriage.

Girlfriend: Ugh, I can't think about hot dogs or sausages when I eat them. I can't bare to think what body parts I'm eating.
Boyfriend: Oh, hush. Look at what else you eat.
Girlfriend: I know, but I like you! And I wouldn't eat your arm!

Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on August 28, 2015
Body parts, Couples, Feelings, Food, New Jersey, Weirdness

You Can Sell the Blood to Marilyn Manson for a Bundle.

Professor: Now, I want you to listen to what McCormack does with this last phrase. And then I want you to go slit your wrists. Because I know I do every time I hear this.

Peabody Conservatory
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Emo has nothing on opera

Posted on August 25, 2015
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Education, Feelings, Maryland, Music, Students, Teachers, Weirdness, Wishes

So of Course I'm Bummed That They'll All Burn in a Lake of Hellfire

Mormon girl: When I grow up, I want to celebrate Chanukah! I mean, I just like Jews. I like Jew food, Jew noses, Jew hair styles… Oh my gosh, I love those curly bangs! I just want to pull one and watch it go “sproinnnnng!”

IHOP
Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: I'm Jewish, but surprisingly NOT offended…

Posted on August 23, 2015
Body parts, Default, Feelings, Food, Girls, Hair, Religion, Restaurants, Utah

What Did People Do at Work Without Solitaire?

Random girl on date: Sometimes I wonder what life was like before playing cards?

Stuttgart
Germany

Posted on August 19, 2015
Default, Feelings, Games, Germany, Girls, Philosophy, Questions

Feet I Can Take or Leave Alone

Woman: Definitely. I had both feet in the door, but now it's just one foot in the door.
Man: I hate doors.

Bangkok
Thailand

Overheard by: Adair

Posted on August 11, 2015
Asia, Body parts, Default, Feelings, Guys, Women

Unless She’s Natalie Portman

Geek: A pity hug is still a hug, and a pity girlfriend still has boobs!

University of Idaho
Idaho

Overheard by: Rebecca

Posted on August 2, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Default, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Feelings, Idaho, Rack, Relationships

Oops, Sorry About Your Hair.

Cute girl #1: Hey, I want you to meet one of my best guy friends.
Cute girl #2 to male friend: Hey, nice to meet ya.
Male friend holding lighter, totally ignoring others: I can make fire! (shouting) I'm a goddamn wizard!

Johnson City, Tennessee

Overheard by: kiwi

Posted on August 2, 2015
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Feelings, Friends, Girls, Guys, Magic, Tennessee

Because I Sure Do, As Those of You Who Are My Facebook Friends Know

Physics professor: What do you do to amuse yourselves? You don't play with yourselves?

Guelph
Canadia

Posted on August 1, 2015
Canadia, Default, Feelings, Leisure, Masturbation, Questions, Teachers, Words

Feelings