Friends

Girl to friend: And he tried to order frozen yogurt, so I didn't sleep with him. If you want to bang me, you have to eat full-fat ice cream!

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Female track jock, to friend: So I had this fucking hair up my fucking ass.
Private school football coach, overhearing: Ladies, please watch you language.
Female track jock: I had a hair up my butt.

El Paso, Texas

Friend to another: Then he dropped the f-bomb of god!

Cleveland, Ohio

Freshman boy: I think I have gingivitis.
Friend: You can't get gingivitis on your hand!

High School
Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: shiny

Eleven-year-old girl to friends: I know him but he doesn't know me.

The Drive
Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Fred

Girl: Oh… Unh… Yeah, that's the spot.
Friend: Doesn't it hurt when you rub it so hard like that?
Girl: No, it… oh, that's blood. That's probably not good.

Clark Hall Women's Room
University of Virginia

Overheard by: girl in the stall

Skinny chick with cigarette on bike to friend she just met up with: Hey! Guess how I got here so fast?
Friend: How?
Skinny chick, enthusiastically: I drink a tonic of strychnine and brandy! Every day!

Mt. Pleasant
Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Lance Wriststrong

Irish girl, after sheep show: Well, that wasn't much, was it?
Irish friend: Yeah, just a lot of focking sheep shit.

South Island
New Zealand

Overheard by: fellow tour member who agrees

Girl to friend: I was like “whatever, bitch! You're not even a real registered nurse. Like you'll be working full time in a doctor's office making $20 an hour, and I'll be a real nurse making $20,000 a year.”

Texas State University

20-something chick on cell: Hello? Seriously? It smelled like your balls last time you used it! (pause) Okay, I guess, make sure you rinse out that motherfucker! You too, bye.
Friend: What was that about?
20-something chick: My boyfriend wants to use my shower, and my loofah.
Friend: Oh.

San Antonio, Texas