Jock: Our soccer team's like the colon–it's probably there for a reason but no one knows what it is.
Friend: That's the appendix.
Westminster, Maryland
Jock: Our soccer team's like the colon–it's probably there for a reason but no one knows what it is.
Friend: That's the appendix.
Westminster, Maryland
Girl to friend: Yes, but he can't pick it off an apple tree that comes out of my vag.
Dorm
Washington, DC
Female student to friend at bus stop: So, he was, like, freakishly quiet, but every now and then he would bust out with something that, you know, we would say, you know, like, (bursts into song) “Do you like waffles? Yeah, I like waffles!” (in normal voice) And, you know, I would be, like, “Woah! He is a real person.”
University of Oklahoma
Overheard by: becauseobviouslyallnormalpeoplelikewaffles
Guy to friend: Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with it, but my hamster just isn't working right.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Not-at-all 21
Woman to friend: Well, yeah, but then it got wet, so it fell off…
Vallejo, California
Overheard by: Jerod T.
Middle aged woman, casually to friend: And she hasn't worn pants to school since 7th grade.
Woodinville, Washington
Overheard by: The employee washing the window behind them
Female student: I came home last night and found my roommate sitting on the kitchen floor, crying and holding a bottle of Jägermeister and a recipe for homemade enchiladas.
Dumb friend: I didn't know you made enchiladas with Jägermeister.
University of Colorado, Boulder
Strange man to lightly-dressed girls sitting on bench: Thank you! Have a good night!
(leaves)
Girl to friend: Oh my god. He licked your hand. Ohmigod! He. Licked. Your. Hand!
Montreal
Quebec
Canadia
Overheard by: And it tasted like humus.
Blonde: I have this theory that babies who were born late are like always late to stuff. And babies who were born early, like premature, are always early.
Friend: Really?
Blonde: Yeah, it's like, on my resume.
Brisbane
Australia
Girl to friend: It's like someone touches your cunt and you get all happy.
Easton, Maryland
