Guy to friend: Why do I have such a small dick?
SUNY Binghamton
New York
10-year-old boy to friend, about Austin Powers: Your mom let you watch that movie? She doesn't even let you have sugar!
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Girl to friend: And he tried to order frozen yogurt, so I didn't sleep with him. If you want to bang me, you have to eat full-fat ice cream!
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Female track jock, to friend: So I had this fucking hair up my fucking ass.
Private school football coach, overhearing: Ladies, please watch you language.
Female track jock: I had a hair up my butt.
El Paso, Texas
Freshman boy: I think I have gingivitis.
Friend: You can't get gingivitis on your hand!
High School
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: shiny
Eleven-year-old girl to friends: I know him but he doesn't know me.
The Drive
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Fred
Girl: Oh… Unh… Yeah, that's the spot.
Friend: Doesn't it hurt when you rub it so hard like that?
Girl: No, it… oh, that's blood. That's probably not good.
Clark Hall Women's Room
University of Virginia
Overheard by: girl in the stall
Skinny chick with cigarette on bike to friend she just met up with: Hey! Guess how I got here so fast?
Friend: How?
Skinny chick, enthusiastically: I drink a tonic of strychnine and brandy! Every day!
Mt. Pleasant
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Lance Wriststrong
Irish girl, after sheep show: Well, that wasn't much, was it?
Irish friend: Yeah, just a lot of focking sheep shit.
South Island
New Zealand
Overheard by: fellow tour member who agrees
