Girl #1: So do you have any friends who are total disasters like us, who would want to go to Vegas that weekend?
Girl #2: I have a friend who's getting an abortion next week.
Girl #1: Oh, good, so she'll be good to go by then.
Bar
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Orkide
Girl #1, reading a text: Oh my god, now he says that when I get home he's going to eat the shit out of that apple pie.
Girl #2: Does he know we've been using apple pie as a euphemism for sex all day?
Girl #1: No…
Gaithersburg, Maryland
20-something girl to friends: And I was like, he was my first ugly boyfriend and my first kiss, and I was like “grandma!”
Maxwell’s
Cedarburg, Wisconsin
Overheard by: and i was like, what?!
Drunk frat boy, yelling to group: Is it someone's birthday?
Cute girl: Yeah! Mine!
Drunk frat boy: How old are you? 19?
Girl: 22.
Drunk frat boy: Oh, I was confused. I was wondering how you could have gotten so drunk if you were 19.
Girl: We're not drunk.
Drunk frat boy: Oh. Well, we are!
Mini Golf Course
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Mom to teenage daughter: Yeah, they swell up big, you shoulda seen it, looked like I had a pussy on my hand.
Courtroom
Houston, Texas
Little girl: Where’s Ben*?
Father: He’s in heaven, honey.
Little girl: Still?!
Preschool
Fort Lauderdale, FL
Girl: Dang, it's raining!
Boy: Do you have an umbrella?
Girl: Yeah. I hate umbrellas.
Boy, surprisingly vehemently: Suck it up!
Syracuse University
Syracuse, New York
College girl, yelling at friend: I mean, I hooked up with everyone in Sigma Nu before I was dating him! Why wouldn't I keep hooking up with everyone in Sigma Nu now?
Starbucks
Los Angeles, California
Girl #1: Walking is the most natural form of transportation.
Girl #2: Or the birth canal. It's like America's water slide.
Friendswood, Texas
