College girl #1: So did I tell you I’m going on a celibacy kick this semester? To cleanse myself.
College girl #2: Oh, really?
College girl #1, picking up GQ magazine with Rachel Bilson on the cover: Ugh, I’ve lost all respect for her. She’s such a slut.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Lindsay
Professor: Fluorine is to chlorine as chlorine is to Kool-Aid. If you inhale chlorine, it burns your nose–you inhale fluorine and it'll eat your face and look for your family.
San Diego State University
San Diego, California
Old sweaty guy to gym owner: Bob*, did you know there's something wrong with one of your balls?
Gym owner: Which one?
Old sweaty guy: The little blue one. It's half deflated.
Gym owner: Oh, that one. It's always had problems. People keep doing stupid things with it.
Gym
Blue Mountains
Australia
Girl #1: And yeah… She had these stains on her teeth.
Girl #2: Ew! Why… We’re in America.
Boston, Massachusetts
Teen girl on phone: The chlamydia is inclusive.
Nashville, Tennessee
Student: She thinks she’s so good. She was probably the only soprano in her high school, so she was automatically the best. Or maybe she went to a school for like, people with severe burns. She was the best in the burn victim ward.
Westminster Choir College
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Gaby Young
Fat guy: Sorry I’m late. Mr. Sphincter isn’t being very co-operative today.
Nova Cafe
Dunedin
New Zealand
Redneck: So then I woke up, and she was hitting me in the head because I passed out and she couldn't wake me up, even though she pulled my eyelids back and everything. So then I was like “Why are you so mad when we just went to the best rodeo of our life?”
Auburn, Alabama
Hipster chick #1: Yeah, we did opium last night.
Hipster chick #2: How was that?
Hipster chick #1: I vomited until my ears popped.
Hipster chick #2: Awesome!
Blue Line
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Eve
Tourist woman to wheelchair-bound local: Can you point me in the right direction?
Wheelchair-bound local: Yep, it's straight down that way.
Tourist woman: Okay…but is it walkable?
St. Lawrence Market
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: kingdubby
