Daughter: Mommy, mommy, that dress makes you look sixteen years younger!
[Later]Daughter: Mommy, if you were stranded in the desert without any water, what would you do?
Mother: [No response].
Daughter: [to little sister] I would eat my own blood.
Old Navy
Promenade Mall, California
Overheard by: Claustrophobic
Guy #1: God, that burns! Chlamydia’s a bitch! You ever get chlamydia?
Guy #2: Nah, man. I don’t fuck sluts.
Guy #1: Well, I do!
College Park, Maryland
College girl #1: I can always tell it's really cold when my face starts tightening up. And I start talking with a lisp.
College girl #2: Girl, you always talk with a lisp!
Capitol Hill
Washington, DC
Young man on cell: So there's someone cleaning their floor with the blood of one of their relatives, and it's like…a bit much, you know?
Bus, Denmark Hill
London
England
Overheard by: trying not to turn around
Happy little boy touching everything: Bacteria! Bacteria! Bacteria!
Post Office
Hammond, Louisiana
Stoner #1: … And it burned the whole way down! Seriously, I think my throat hemorrhaged.
Stoner #2: Well at least you didn’t eat nine bowls of pudding.
Kansas State University, Manhattan
Overheard by: I wish I heard the beginning…
Girl #1: Oh, I like your jacket.
Girl #2: Thanks, it's not mine, Julie loaned it to me. Thank god she did, because she puked on mine.
Girl #1: Is that why she loaned it to you?
Girl #2: No, I didn't tell her she puked on mine. It's not really cool to bring up stuff people did when they were having a seizure.
Cork
Ireland
Woman #1: Well, you know, we're screwed either way. Whether Obama or that other guy with the lump on the side of his face wins.
Woman #2: McCain?
Woman #1: Yeah! I mean, he turns one way and it's just all… (uses hands to demonstrate) There! What the fuck is that?
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/10/lumpy.html
Overheard by: kris.
Freshman, loudly walking through dorm lobby: It wasn't an STD! …just, like, a germ-filled cesspool…
CSU
Fort Collins, Colorado
Drunk girl puking in bathroom stall to drunk girl puking in stall next to her: It's okay! I'm throwing up too!
Wake Forest University
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
